When we choose a baby name, and we've settled on it, that name takes a whole new meaning for us. It's no longer "just a name" — from that point on, the name symbolizes the life we're growing and all our hopes and dreams for their future. We build that deep emotional connection pretty early, and that's probably why we feel sour when someone else loves the name, too.
One woman took to Reddit to share a doozy of a baby name conflict between sisters who both love the same name for a baby girl.
In the AITA community, a pregnant mom asked advice regarding a baby name situation she's found herself in.
"My older sister and I (both late 20s F) have always had a strained relationship, partially because my parents always favored her growing up," the OP started off saying. She explained several situations where she felt the strain between herself and her sister, including the feeling that her sister enjoyed having the spotlight instead of her.
"When I graduated three years ago, I had dinner with my family to celebrate," she said. But the focus shifted when her sister had something to share. "My sister decided it was a good time to announce her pregnancy. I was annoyed, but decided it wasn't worth making a scene since the dinner was almost over anyways."
Later on, at a gender reveal party for her sister, OP discovered something.
"At her gender reveal party, she announced the baby was a girl and that her name will be 'Catherine.' I have always wanted to name my daughter Catherine and I've told her that clearly several times before," OP said.
"I confronted her about it after the party, and she eventually admitted that she knew I wanted the name, but that she likes it too and she's pregnant, not me," she explained. "I've learned it's best to just not engage with my sister when she pulls stuff like this, and didn't argue further."
Unfortunately, things took a turn for her sister.
"Unfortunately, my sister ended up having a stillbirth around 30 weeks," OP explained. "Naturally she was devastated and I did my part to help her through it. If this matters for judgement, my sister hasn't had any issues since and now has a healthy 7 month old son."
A little while after that, OP discovered she was pregnant — currently 28 weeks into it and found out she's also having a girl. "I'm having a daughter and I still like the name Catherine," she said. OP explained she's not totally uncaring, "so I decided to name my daughter a variation of the name – Kathryn — which I actually do like better now. I knew my sister would not like it regardless so I was not planning to tell her until after Kathryn was born."
Well, her family found out.
OP doesn't seem to see the situation that way though. "From my perspective, I came up with the name first, and if I don't own the name neither does my sister," she said.
"I didn't choose the name to hurt her. And I didn't even use the same name, just a similar one! My husband is on my side but my parents and sister think I'm a monster."
OP then asked the community if she's in the wrong for "stealing the name of my sister's dead baby."
"Not just drama, you knew it would cause pain, which is not a good look for you," one person wrote. "Obviously from how your family have treated you, they are massive AHs. Yes you called 'dibs' and your sister was the AH to use it, but now this just feels like revenge."
"YTA – her child died at 30 weeks," wrote another commenter. "So she had a real birth. this shit is traumatizing. And even if you think, now with a healthy kid this is over, I bet she's somethimes thinking about what could have been. And you just casually think retraumatizing your sister is an ok thing to do." The person added, "You're making it impossible to talk about her feelings, because there is a kid in her family whose name is the same as her dead ones. It's ridiculous to say Catherine and kathryn are not the same name."
"YTA. I'd say every one sucks, but your play is so much worse," a third explained. "She stole your baby name. Dick move, but minor. Hell, half the people I know have changed their planned baby name at the eleventh hour, including my parents with my name, and mine with my son." Adding, "You're using her dead baby's name. Which , if I recall correctly, after about 24 weeks or so, legally requires proper body disposal, in other words, a funeral. Her move was petty. Your move is insanely petty and cruel."
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