Balancing family and work is incredibly tough for parents. But when push comes to shove, if our kids need us, that takes precedence. At least, that's how we assume most parents feel.
A father recently took to Reddit, however, to "explain" why he wasn't there for his recently hospitalized daughter and wants to poll the people of the forum to gauge whether he made a bad call.
The 43-year-old dad says he got a call from his wife, explaining his 14-year-old girl fainted on a hike with her boyfriend because of anorexia.
"My wife says that our daughter wanted to talk to me, so she hands over the phone to our daughter and we talk for a bit," he recalled. "My daughter asks that I come to the hospital, but I happen to be on business trip, and was scheduled to be in that city until August."
And dad wasn't too keen on just up and leaving.
He further explained that he's on a trip with a young colleague, a 23-year-old female, who he feels he needs to be there for in case questions arise.
"So I tell my daughter that I had work stuff I couldn't miss, and that she needed to focus solely on herself," he wrote. "She starts bawling and that sneaking feeling comes up once again that a lot of the destructive things she does is a ploy to get attention."
His wife, who was furious, accuses him of wanted to spend time with new hires and places the blame on him for their daughter's health issues.
"Yet from where I'm sitting, my wife is the one who has been losing significant amounts of weight in the last couple of years to the point that she's pale," the dad qualified. "Yet I keep my mouth shut about that while she continues yelling at me. I finally have enough and hang up before I say something I'll regret."
So he wants to know, is he wrong for not cutting his work trip short?
"I feel like if I did, I wouldn't be much help in my daughter's problem and if she is doing this for attention, it will only encourage her in the future," he further explained.
Fairly unanimously, no one was on his side.
"Your daughter needs you," one user flat-out wrote. "She has a life-threatening illness and you consider it a 'ploy to get attention?' Oh. My. GOD."
Others called for the dad to get his priorities in check, pronto.
"Stop using your affection for your child as a weapon," admonished another person. "You don't get to withdraw it to punish her. SHE IS IN HOSPITAL. Ending up in hospital is not a attention seeking. It is a warning sign… which you are ignoring. Reality check. Just. Because. Your. Wife. Lost. Weight. It. Does. Not. Give. You. the. Right. To. Punish. Your. Daughter. For. It."
The person continued, "Your daughter has a physical and mental illness. You[r] wife losing weight is reinforcing to you child that losing weight is the right thing to do. Time for you to actually step up and HELP. Or you will lose her in a way you will never forgive yourself for. Ever."
An eating disorder survivor even chimed in to put this dad in his place.
"I've been dealing with my eating disorder for 20+ years, starting in my teens. I was very sick for a very long time and my parents were wonderful and supportive and helped me every step of the way," wrote one user. "We had our fights over it and they would often lose their patience with me, but we went to every family therapy session together, they were at my side at the multiple hospitals I ended up having to stay 2 sometimes 3 nights for dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. I was in the double digits on the scale and couldn't see anything but a big fat monster in the mirror."
The person continued, "My dad would let me cry on his shoulder, hug me close, tell me how much he loved me. I finally got a bed at an inpatient facility center 300 miles from my home, and my parents and I drove out together so they could be there for me as I checked in and learned the new world my life would be for an undetermined amount of time. I was so weak. So malnourished. I could barely walk. My father carried me to gas station bathrooms several times on the road trip out there because in my physical condition couldn't handle the 80 degree weather outside. He never said a word and I didn't have to ask. He saw me struggling, and he took care of me."
Everyone agreed: This dad needs to step up for his kid. Work can wait but family can't.
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