When we find out we're pregnant, so many emotions go through us. There's fear, excitement, worry, and joy. We run the full spectrum throughout the nine months and hold on to hope that we will be one of the lucky ones who get to take our baby home with us at the end. The truth is, that doesn't always happen, and some families are instead left grieving the life that should have been. Miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal loss impact so many families, and one mom took to Reddit to share something that happened in the aftermath of her baby's birth.
The woman (OP) took to Reddit's AITA community to get advice on a situation that happened recently.
OP was one of the unlucky people who, at the end of her pregnancy, wasn't able to bring her baby home. "I lost my baby at birth," she began her Reddit post. "She had the cord in a knot and it was an unfortunate accident," she continued.
"I've been grieving but today decided to start returning baby items."
Having to return baby items is not an easy task while grieving.
OP had taken on this difficult chore, heading back to the store with the unused baby items to return them and starting with clothing.
It's pretty customary for retailers to ask for a reason why the items are being returned — and there are several reasons why they would be. Often a reason is requested so the store knows whether the product was defective or if it can go back on the shelf.
When OP was asked why she was returning the clothes, "I told the clerk it didn't work out." Anyone sensitive enough should be able to gather what she was saying — without having to actually say it and process the refund through as something generic — but that didn't happen.
"She said she had to put a specific reason for the return, so I said, "My baby died, so I won't be needing clothes for her anymore,'" OP posted.
That's the truthful answer.
Bluntness can often shake the other person into being more sensitive, but that didn't happen in this instance.
"The clerk went to get her manager," OP wrote and then she had to speak to the manager about why she was returning the clothes. However, instead of being sensitive and gentle with the grieving woman, the manager went the complete other way and called her out instead.
"The manager told me what I had said was uncalled for and pretty much told me they couldn’t process my refund," OP posted.
They refused her a refund. On clothes that were unused. Because she had to tell them that her baby had died. After she was pressed for a more specific reason.
It's no surprise OP was upset.
"I will admit i called my mom in a very angry mood," OP wrote, but it sounds like her mom didn't see her side either. "She essentially told me 'I would have said the same thing. You were brutal and she didn't need to know that. You're just projecting.'"
OP asked the Reddit community for advice or take on the situation, wanting to know if she was in the wrong for being honest when the store clerk needed a more specific answer.
Reddit was, thankfully, a whole lot more sensitive to this situation.
"They demanded a detailed reason, which you gave," one person commented. "Then they decided it was uncalled for?? It was the truth. Your very heartbreaking truth. They should have fallen all over each other apologizing to you at that point," the person added. "I'm so sorry about the loss of your child and I'm sad and mad that these people were so callous instead of compassionate. Completely NTA."
"I would honestly, if you are in that angry energy stage of grief, escalate a complaint to their head office, or if they're a local firm without one, to the owner or blast on social media," a second person advised. "I am fuming on your behalf. How dare they."
"NTA," a third person wrote. "She asked for a specific reason and because the reason made them uncomfortable they got angry. I'm sorry for your loss."
"WTF? NTA!!! What, exactly, should you have said instead? You tried 'It didn't work out' and the clerk wouldn't let that go," another person wrote. "Are you supposed to waste brain space while you're grieving, trying to think up a nice euphemism for a stillbirth? You should go over the store manager's head, and if they don't refund you, shame them on Twitter."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
