Losing a child is a painful club that no parent wants to belong to. Kevin Glassett knows that as well as anyone — the Bainbridge, New York, father lost his son Connor in 2016, and has been mourning his loss ever since. But recently, Kevin stumbled upon a photo that had been forgotten in a camera of his for some time, and it jostled loose a memory of his son that was so profound, he had to share it with others.
Kevin shared the story on Facebook in late July, along with the photo he unearthed.
Before long, it was resonating with people near and far.
"Let me tell you a story," the post began. "Deleting photos, I came across this one, just a gaggle of little tie dye shirts and a huge lesson in manhood."
And oh, what a lesson it was.
According to Kevin, the photo was taken four years ago, just a few months before Connor died.
"Connor had just gotten back from a year of study in Ireland and New Zealand, and was set to graduate college the following spring," the father shared. "He was 21, tall, strong, intelligent, confident to the point of cockiness."
(Hey, we all know a kid like that, amiright?)
"I had just gotten home from a long, hot day at work when he pulled in from his job (he ran the town's playground program)," Kevin continued. "I was probably a miserable p—-, but he asked if I could give him a hand for a few minutes. I agreed."
Connor soon dug into the back of his car and pulled out garbage bags filled with wet tie-dyed T-shirts.
One by one, he started to rinse them out and hang them to dry, with his father joining in to help.
"[Connor] explained that there was a field trip to the Zoo, and kids made the shirts to be identified as part of the group," Kevin recalled.
But right away, the dad had questions.
"Why are you doing this on your own time?" Kevin asked.
"No shirt, no trip," Connor replied.
"How many kids?" Kevin asked his son.
"50 some," Connor told him.
According to Kevin, he shook his head at this, "thinking 'what about the parents, where's your staff, you make peanuts,' [and] so on."
His son was undeterred.
"[With] every shirt, he tells me about the kid that made it, by name, little stories, smiling as he thought, a small belly laugh every so often," the dad recalled.
"50 some shirts. 50 some stories. All by name," Kevin continued. "On his own time."
The memory sticks with the dad now, even four years later. And in many ways, it holds even more meaning.
Little did Kevin know then that in just two short months, his son would be gone. But the impression he left on his family — and those 50 young campers — would last a lifetime.
"I think about this memory often," Kevin shared in his post. "My son taught me what being a man is. Kindness as a moral obligation. Using your strength to foster and protect others. S—, just take the time to remember someone's name and what makes them special."
"50 some little shirts."
After sharing the story on July 19, it's touched hundreds of hearts on Facebook.
"I love this story!!!" wrote one woman.
"Through this world of trouble, we've got to love one another," added someone else.
"Beautiful story Kevin, thank you for sharing," another person commented. "Connor was one of a kind and such a loving guy."
To hear Kevin talk about his son, "one-of-a-kind" doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of who Connor was.
"I believe the story shows some of Connor's character, but not nearly all of it," he tells CafeMom. "Like most, he was complex. In no way was he a saint, but even at 21 he was one of the best men I have ever known."
He describes his son as "complex" and also something of a gentle giant. Standing at 6'3", Kevin says Connor was always "protective of small kids," like those young campers he cared for so much before he died. And, as an athlete, Connor was physically tough on the playing field, as well, protecting his team at all costs.
He was also creative, and incredibly deep, and unmistakably funny.
"He wrote beautiful poetry but loved Monty Python and Will Farrell, he was a critical thinker and an optimist; always giving people the benefit of the doubt," his father continues. "He had an amazing laugh and a sharp wit. Because of these qualities, he was a born leader; but unlike most he sought to always better himself, and people flocked to him because of that."
"To us, he was exceptional, but I think he believed himself ordinary, and sought to do the ordinary extraordinarily well," Kevin says. "I think that is the most impressive thing about Connor — he knew he had gifts (intelligence, physicality, charisma) and believed he had an obligation to develop them for the benefit of all — he was family oriented without any biological constraints on family — if he loved you, you were family."
Kevin says the tie-dye story happened less than two months earlier, on July 28, 2016.
He says he decided to share it publicly, after coming across the photo, for a few reasons.
One, because he is "immensely proud" of his son, and even though Connor shied away from the spotlight, Kevin felt he deserved it this time. But the grieving dad also couldn't shake the lesson he sees so clearly now in that story.
"If there is a life lesson, it is for me," he tells CafeMom. "Connor is a better man than I will ever be. I need to be kinder, stronger, gentler — less special and more ordinary, cultivate beauty."
And maybe, just maybe, he says, sharing this story can help inspire others, too.
To his family, and all who knew him, Connor was larger than life -- which is precisely what made his loss so shocking.
According to Kevin, Connor suffered a traumatic brain injury on September 17, 2016, during a night out with his friends.
"As I said, he was not a Saint," the father shares, adding that his then-21-year-old son lived "a full life … probably more life than most double his age."
On September 22, after five days in the ICU, Connor's family made the heartbreaking decision to take him off life support.
He died later that same day, leaving behind his mother, Elise, and sister Morgan, now 29, in addition to his father.
As agonizing as that final day was for the Glassetts, they decided to donate many of Connor's organs to those in need — including his heart, kidneys, and liver. According to Kevin, they believed it was what their son would have wanted.
The following hours likely passed in a haze of grief and confusion, but Kevin says he can still clearly remember what a nurse told him shortly after the surgery to harvest Connor's organs.
Their son's heart, she shared, was "unusually large."
To the Glassetts, that was something they knew all too well about their boy. And now, they continue to take comfort in the fact that that same big heart continues to beat on in someone else.
