The subject of religion is a touchy one, especially when members of the same family have different beliefs. Many times children ditch their parent's religious roots due to intense upbringing around them or because the town they lived in was so staunch with it. By the time they have children, they'll likely have decided to raise their own babies differently. No matter how much grandparents might not like it, they are expected to respect it. A mom on Reddit shared recently how her mother did the exact opposite, and now she feels like she has to ban her daughters from seeing their grandmother.
She began her story with a little background info on her faith (or lack thereof).
"I grew up in a very religious home," she began. "We went to church (non-denominational) 2-3 times per week. I always questioned what I was being taught and when I was in 6th grade & going to a Christian school, I realized I was agnostic. I live in the Bible belt, so it's difficult having my beliefs."
Despite her other family members remaining religious, they respect her beliefs ... well, most of them.
"Not just mine, but my daughters' (ages 8 and 9) dad, who is an atheist, as well," she noted. "Everyone except my mother. A couple years ago we told her she could no longer take the girls to church. We felt they were being indoctrinated & both were starting to deny science.
"She argued with us but realized how serious we were. She knew if she took them to church after a sleepover, she would be risking being able to see them and be in their life. Little did I know, she had been having 'Bible study' with the girls on nights they would spend the night with her. Maybe every 3 weeks or so, the girls would have a sleepover with her."
After her girls returned from another sleepover, the mom learned some disturbing news.
"My fiance and I were asking them if they had fun, what did they do, etc," she explained. "My 8 year old then said 'I got baptised!' EXCUSE ME, WHAT? I remained calm because I didn't want her to think she was in trouble or did something wrong. I asked her whose idea that was. She said mine.
"Ok … so I ask a few more questions and realize she had the idea because she was told if she were to die, she'd go to h–l. She was terrified! So, my mom baptised my baby. My daughter said my mom asked the questions and everything before the 'baptism'… like 'do you accept Jesus into your heart?'"
The mom was "blown away" that her mother pulled that behind her back.
"It was such a breach of mine & their dad's trust and she had crossed a HUGE line. I sent a group text to my mom & the girls' dad with the following:
'I don't know why I'm shocked,[redacted], but I'm actually blown away by your enormous breach in trust. You crossed a huge line. You know how Ken and I feel about religion. And for poor Emmy to have the belief she will die and go to h–l if she doesn't get baptised?? Putting that thought in her head is child abuse, no other way to look at that. My heart is broken for the girls bc I know how difficult and confusing it's going to be for them to not see you anymore, but I absolutely cannot trust you with them anymore.'
"My ex followed up with this: '(My name) is speaking for both of us on this. I am heartbroken that you have forced us into having to do this,'" she wrote.
"So, am I overreacting? Is this going to be more harmful to my children who have a relationship with her?"
People assured the mom she wasn't acting out of turn.
But they also offered some advice.
"She breached your trust and knew exactly what would happen if she did it again," reminded one reader. "She’s only getting the exact consequence that she was warned of. Telling a child if they aren’t baptized they’ll go to h–l is just cruel. Religion should not be dependent on the fear of what will happen if people don’t follow.
"I would talk to your girls about religion," the person continued. "Maybe have a 'culture night' at the house once a week where you learn about new religions and explore what they believe? That way you can educate your daughter that not everyone believes the same thing and that religion is meant to cast fear into the believers."
As a side note, the mom loved this idea and said she'd be trying it out for sure.
Even other Christians disagreed with this approach to faith.
"I’m a Christian and I would never go against someone’s decision about religion," noted another reader. "That is a HUGE breach of trust and I believe you did the right thing. If they choose to go to church when they get older, that is for them to decide."
In short: You don't have to agree on everything in a family, but you do need to be respectful.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
