I love having kids and I don’t regret it. But I have a confession: before I had kids, I really didn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to do it, and I was super judgy when people shared that they didn’t want kids.
Honestly, I simply didn’t understand it
Having kids can also exacerbate mental health conditions
I suffered a bout of postpartum anxiety with my first child, and ended up with some of the worst panic attacks that I ever had. I experienced prenatal anxiety with my second baby and it was brutal. Since then, having kids has spiked my anxiety more times than I can even count. Granted, I had an anxiety disorder before kids, and it is fairly well managed, but I can say for sure that motherhood has been a huge mental health trigger.
There are people for whom parenthood would be terrible for their mental health, and just isn’t an option. There are also those whose physical health would be exacerbated by having kids. But there are people who would rather focus on their career, or whose personality thrive in solitude, or who simply Do. Not. Want. Kids. for whatever reason.
If someone suspects that parenthood isn’t right for them, then they are 1000% right
Because parenthood will wreck you, and you should only do it if the pull toward kids is so great that you are willing to make that sacrifice. It’s not a decision you should make based on “shoulds” or societal norms or because someone else says you should.
Just as I followed my instincts to have kids, I believe every human should follow their instincts when it comes to not having kids. And I’m super freaking sorry I judged anyone for feeling that way. They were right, and I was wrong. Full stop.
