Breonna Taylor’s Story Isn’t Surprising But It’s Not Black Moms’ Responsibility to Fix It

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“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.” – Malcom X.

On Wednesday, September 23, these words popped into my heart as a grand jury in my city, Louisville, Kentucky, indicted former officer Brett Hankinson on three counts of “wanton endangerment.” Essentially, only one of the officers involved in Breonna Taylor’s death was charged, and it was only to hold him accountable for the bullets that missed her body.

Spiraling, I turned inward to my circle of mothers raising Black children.

In a state of grief and panic, I asked, “How do we raise confident, strong, carefree Black children in a world like this? How do we teach OUR children that they will be protected and that they matter, when they could be killed by the hands of the law? And that same hand, charged with their protection, would instead protect the white person who committed the crime?”

How do I tell my children that I don’t call the police when I need help?

My instincts are to call my family or Black community members and try to teach my own daughters that no matter what this suggests, they are valued and worthy.

To do that, I have to teach them that they will have to learn to be resourceful independently, call on the Black community, and only resort to police intervention as a last resort. What does that teach our children about their safety and their inherent value in this world? How do we cement that they aren’t to blame, when they are positioned as the problem because of their skin color?

The answers I got were varied and nuanced, but it dawned on me that they were also irrelevant.

The truth is, this isn’t my problem to fix. What good is the energy I put forth if white parents aren’t raising anti-racists? When anti-racism takes a backseat to protests over superficial topics like wanting a haircut during a pandemic, what is the point in my effort?

The good news is, white parents today are in a unique position to essentially create a future generation of anti-racists.

There is so much power in that reality, but there is also so much duty and responsibility. And frankly, it's time to step up. When we see results like an officer being indicted for mere endangerment but not the actual murder of a Black woman, what are are telling our children?

Changing the systems that allowed this to happen start with raising our children to recognize and correct these injustices.

To do this, I would like to see less conversation on how white kids can grow up to be anything, and more conversation on how opportunity is tied to their skin color and how that should be challenged to encourage mindful inclusion wherever they go. I would like to see parents teaching more empathy toward the Black community. An empathy that highlights our complicated and comprehensive humanity, rather than teaching white children that we are defined by and are the sum of our trauma. We have history outside of negative experiences worth teaching and celebrating. Focusing only on the trauma reinforces to white children that they are not only better than Black people, but that they are to be our saviors.

I would love to see less conversation on how some white kids aren’t punished in schools as their Black peers, and more conversation on accountability that isn’t defined by whiteness. The same white children today who don’t experience punishment could become lawmakers who won’t punish other white people, but who have internalized that punishment is something Black people do experience and should. I would like to see more efforts applied to the community as opposed to an emphasis on personal responsibility and individual betterment.

In the end, we are all a part of what is happening right now.

There is no one who is exempt from playing a role in history or current events. We have to find ways to protect Black women and children. We have to find ways to change the narrative so that the need to announce "Black Lives Matter" is no longer necessary, and I believe that has to happen at every level of existence. But it can't just be Black people doing the work.

Personal education while educating others. Policy change while developing the community. Dismantling systems while improving interpersonal relationships. I know this to be feasible and I hope for a day when I can see the results of said efforts. It starts with us and our children, and people: It’s time to step up.