There are things that my husband and I do that would be annoying to each other on a regular day, but lock us in a house together with our kids and a stay-at-home order and it’s the most annoying thing that has ever happened. Like many couples, we’ve joked about how we’ll be filing for divorce when this pandemic is over. But for some couples, staying at home together with kids is a challenge they may feel they can’t overcome.
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All of this change can be difficult for families right now, especially when one (or both) of you has other things you’re dealing with, such as anxiety or depression.
“This pandemic brings to light all of the preexisting personality characteristics and relationship dynamics that existed before and now they’re just heightened,” Gottlieb pointed out. While one partner might want to disinfect all the doorknobs, the other may think it’s an overreaction. Instead of arguing about the doorknob, it’s a good idea to talk about what each other is feeling about the situation.
If you feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed it may be time to look for outside help, Gottlieb advised. Psychology Today magazine has a tool on its website to look for a local therapist.
Don't be afraid to reach out. “I think there are a lot of people who feel like, 'Well, I’m feeling really anxious about this, but a lot of people have it worse, so who am I to reach out to somebody because my issues aren’t that big right now?'" she said.
Couples counseling or individual counseling can give you tools to better communicate what you’re feeling and also coping mechanisms to use when things get tough. It’s important to talk to someone before it gets too serious, Gottlieb said.
