No matter how well you raise your kids, they’re going to make mistakes. But one parent wondered if he was doing the right thing after catching one of his twin 10-year-olds stealing. Obviously, their son was going to go down for having sticky fingers, but was it wrong for them to punish their daughter too?
The Original Poster (OP) and his wife always tried to teach their kids right from wrong.
The OP and his wife aren’t wealthy, but they really believed they taught their kids that “money and possessions don't make you a better person,” he wrote in a post on Reddit's Am I the A–hole forum.
The coronavirus pandemic hit the parents hard this year, but despite their money issues, they managed to scrape together enough to buy each of their kids a Nintendo Switch and a couple of games for their birthdays back in July.
The problem is that the OP has a rich cousin.
The OP’s cousin and his wife are “nice people” and the two families are close, but they’re very, very wealthy.
Like, “a large house, cars, pool, tennis and basketball courts, cash to burn” kind of wealthy, OP explained.
Recently, the OP’s cousin had a small birthday party — COVID-19 precautions observed, of course.
The party brought out the worst in the OP’s kids. His cousin’s kids are “similarly aged” to the OP’s — and “my kids have always been jealous of their cousins.”
“Everytime we visit they complain at everything they have that we don't,” the OP wrote. “We've always taught them that character matters more than money.”
When they got home from the party, their kids were “acting funny.”
“I discovered they were looking at an album of those gold Pokémon cards, the solid gold ones,” the OP wrote. “I knew they weren't my kids.”
Caught red handed, the OP’s daughter admitted that her brother nabbed the cards from his cousin’s room during the party “and he showed her the cards before hiding them in the car.”
“She went so far as to sneak them in the house wrapped in her towel because our son forgot his towel at OP’s cousin’s house.”
“My wife and I were pissed.”
Sure, their daughter didn’t technically take the playing cards — but she didn’t exactly convince her brother to do the right thing either.
“They both know better. They're 10, they know stealing is wrong,” the OP explained.
“They both complained that it wasn't fair that their cousins has so much and we have so little, that their cousin doesn't even play with the cards, they were in the closet,” the parent continued. “That makes me think my son may have planned this because how would he have known where the cards were?”
The OP took away both of their kids’ Switches for the week to teach them a lesson.
Their daughter thinks that’s completely unfair because she "didn't do as much wrong as my son.”
“My wife agreed. I am standing firm. They are on day three of seven of their punishment. My daughter is giving me the silent treatment," the OP wrote.
“I understand why she's upset but I consider lying by omission where theft is involved just as bad as actually taking the item that isn't yours,” the OP continued. “Am I the A–hole for punishing them equally?”
Many people agreed — the OP’s daughter was guilty as charged.
“She assisted in stealing, that’s not a lie of omission, that’s taking an active role in the crime.” one person commented.
“Those are from a Burger King promotion in 1999. They are NOT CHEAP (I have the Pikachu, last evaluation was ~$100, including the pokeball it came in),” someone else explained. “Your kids are lucky no charges were pressed.”
“That's not lying by omission, that's aiding and abetting,” a third commenter wrote.
A few people felt like the OP was wrong for not taking the wife’s feelings into the matter.
“You’re the A–hole for 'standing firm' as if your wife's opinion doesn't matter,” one commenter wrote. “Y'all are meant to be a team and you're ignoring her.”
Another person agreed. “You’re the A–hole for unilaterally punishing your children without agreeing on something with your wife. It sounds like this is quite a big deal for you and I feel like it would have been possible for you to reach an agreement with your partner before issuing a punishment.”
Later in the thread, the OP shared that they were by no means going easy on either kid.
“We absolutely returned the cards that night and my kids apologized to their cousins and [the OP’s cousin] and his wife,” the OP wrote. “My kids cried.”
Graciously, the twins’ cousins offered to let them have some of the Pokemon cards,
“but I declined.”
“I don't want them thinking they can steal again and just apologize and get to keep what they stole.”
We're willing to bet that with parents like the OP, that the twins have likely learned a serious lesson.
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