Mariaan and Hendrik Strauss were excited to become parents when they learned Mariann was pregnant, but they received distressing news at their first ultrasound. When Mariaan was only 13 weeks along, the couple learned their baby was developing without arms, and doctors allegedly advised them to abort the baby, they told the New York Post. The Strausses understood raising a baby born without those limbs would be challenging, but they also knew they wanted to embrace and meet their baby boy, so they did.
It is estimated that 1 in every 1,900 babies is born with a limb reduction defect in the US, according to the Centers for Disease Control and prevention, which can affect development, motor skills, and daily activities.
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A specialist told them not aborting would be ‘selfish.’
The Strausses were thrilled to become parents but received the difficult news that their baby was not developing arms at the end of the first trimester. Mariaan shared what their specialist told them.
“The words of my specialist kept running through my head: ‘You’re selfish if you don’t abort. You must think of the child. He will never be able to have a normal quality of life,'” she said, per the New York Post.
Despite the specialist's advice, Mariaan gave birth to their son Hendré in June 2022 but admitted those first few months were difficult.
“We cried because it was such a beautiful moment. Then the big, dark depression hit me,” the news outlet reported. “I thought, Why us? Why our child? You pray and you ask for a healthy child, but then this happens. But if I had to choose today, I would take him just like that, again. Without arms,” she said.
Their baby boy was born with several additional complications as well, but it's not slowing him down.
In addition to being born without arms, Hendré was born without a fibula, had a foot turned inward that required a cast, and he can only drink 30 milliliters of milk in one sitting because of his stomach not growing typically, according to the Post. In spite of all these complications, he does not appear to have been slowed down by them, as evidenced by a video his mom posted of him on TikTok.
Mariaan captioned the video, “Disability does not define your ability.” Hendré is seen shuffling on his bottom using his legs and dancing along to a song.
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‘It’s OK to not fit society's standard of normal’ the couple says.
Although Mariaan and Hendrik admit being concerned for their son, they shared that they were overjoyed when he started showing signs of mobility around 3 months old, per the Post.
“When Hendré was 3 months old, he taught himself to roll from place to place and it was like a cloud lifted. I realized my child was OK, then I was OK and the depression went away,” Mariaan said.
Hendrik added that his little boy is able to get around on his own. “If he wants to get to a toy on the other side of the room, he moves or he pulls his little legs under him and pushes himself forward,” he said per the Post.
The couple explained they may look into prosthetics as their son grows older but want people to know it's OK if they don't fit into society's expectations of "normal."
“Hendré is the greatest gift we could have received," Mariaan added.
People are divided over the parents' choice.
Readers commenting on the Post story were conflicted over the parents' decision. The decision to terminate a pregnancy or not and the choice to choose parenthood even in light of difficult news is a personal one and belongs to solely to the parents. People were not shy, however, about sharing their views on the Strauss' decision.
Some readers celebrated the parents' choice while others don’t understand it.
“The parents don't have to live life without arms," one person wrote. "The kid does though. Selfish parents.”
Another commented, “That was your choice. That is what Pro-Choice is all about. A woman controls her body and her decisions are hers and hers alone.”
“Omg! Doctors are suppose to "first do no harm". So much for that. You have done right by not listening to a doctor that in my opinion should have his license taken away," someone else commented. "Your baby's only flaw was no arms? So, that makes him less than in that awful doctor's eyes? Thank God you chose correctly. The love and care you have done will be returned by the lovely life you gave this world. Yay!!”
