Although I am no longer a teacher, I’m still in the classroom. I’m just on the parent side now. And I’m seeing more angles to education than ever before. I went into teaching fresh out of college. I was young. Enthusiastic. Passionate. Optimistic. As a teacher, I wanted to do right by my students and their parents.
Even though I left teaching indefinitely after having my first child, I have empathy for teachers. Especially now that I have school-aged children. I have empathy for my children’s teachers that I could never have had before having children of my own.
Teaching is difficult. Parenting is difficult. While this is not news to anyone, it still feels like there are two sides. My background allows me a glimpse into the world most parents don’t know, and I’m incredibly grateful for that. As a former teacher and current parent, I have a whole new appreciation for both parents and teachers.
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There shouldn’t be two sides in the classroom.
Education isn’t “us vs. them.” It’s not parents against teachers or teachers against parents. Regardless of which “side” we’re on, we need to recognize our common ground: the child.
Parents shouldn’t be arguing over every decision teachers make. Teachers shouldn’t be responsible for issues beyond their control. Teachers shouldn’t assume parents aren’t supporting their children at home. Parents shouldn’t assume that only their child’s teacher need to take an active role in their education.
There are a lot of things about our education system that are flawed. But we can start with more understanding.
We need to listen and ask questions. It's important to value techers' opinions and the ways they approach problems. The relationship between a teacher and parent can make or break a child’s educational experience, regardless of the educational progress. So speak kindly to and about your child’s teacher. Especially in front of them.
Being a former teacher has changed the way I respond as a parent. And although I can go full Mama Bear when needed, I control my knee-jerk reactions with a hefty coat of empathy. I can empathize with my child’s teacher because I know how difficult teaching is.
I know what it feels like to walk into a classroom of 20-plus unique personalities. I know what it’s like to be plagued by uncontrollable circumstances. I know what it’s like to care deeply for a child who you don’t make major decisions for.
When I taught, I lacked understanding. It was difficult for me to give the same grace I expected parents to give me. I’m sure it was hard for parents who’ve never taught in a classroom to extend that grace to me.
Even if you don’t have a teaching degree, you can work to understand your child’s teacher.
As a parent, it’s easy to place blame on a teacher. As a teacher, it’s easy to see only what’s in front of us. Parents hear snippets of their child’s day. Teachers only see the child when they’re inside classroom walls. Teachers demand that parents do more. Parents look to the teacher for solutions they may not always have. It shouldn’t be one side versus the other. Not if we want our children to succeed.
It took having my own children and sending them to school to feel like I could relate to both “sides” of education.
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I can confidently say neither side is easier nor more difficult.
Teachers care for children that are not their own in ways most people will never grasp. Teachers see your child navigating social situations and struggles. Sometimes in ways we, as parents, may not. Teachers want your child to succeed and thrive. Not just because a test tells them the student has to, but because they love your child. I can tell you teaching children, whether at home or in the classroom, is a challenge.
As a start, we can all give more grace to the parents of our students and the teachers of our children.
We can work together, gathering glimpses of each side. We can fight for our children — as members of the same side — in hopes of them thriving in all aspects of life.
Maybe next time you’re quick to pile on your child’s teacher, consider it from the teacher’s perspective. And when you want to blame home circumstances for your student’s behavior, consider it from a parent’s perspective.
Remember that both sides are just doing the best they can with what they have.
