Raising a son is a hard job. Truly, we as parents have a responsibility to make sure the future men of this world succeed without repeating the the problems of the past. And one of those problems in particular is the egregious sexism men have displayed against women. These aren't just lofty lessons, they happen in small (but defining) moments.
One dad apparently didn't see it that way when he smoothed over an incident involving his son and a waitress, and mom is furious.
The dad began on Reddit explaining that his son was banned from a restaurant and came to him because he didn't trust him mom's potential reaction.
While he says he would have normally told his wife, he really didn't think it was that big of a deal, and that he had handled it.
"He and his friends had gone out to eat at this place, and apparently my son decided to make a joke and hit on their waitress," the dad admits. "Others said things too but his was the one that upset her and resulting in her telling the owner. It wasn't a bad joke or what I'd consider sexist, but it was in poor taste. When she told the owner, he got upset and asked the boys to leave."
He says that the boys all told them they left the restaurant early because they weren't "feeling well."
At least at first.
"My son told me what really happened, and one of his friends ended up also telling his mom the truth after she questioned his story," the dad said. "By the time he confessed, I'd already talked with my son and the owner of the restaurant and worked things out. My son and the rest of the boys aren't banned from the restaurant and everything is fine now."
But when his wife found out the real reason, she was beyond angry.
"I saw no need to involve my wife in this because she would have escalated this when our son was already embarrassed and had learned his lesson," he claimed. "There wasn't anything else to say or do. My wife disagrees and thinks I am the a–hole for hiding the truth from her and for enabling our son's sexism, as she puts it. She doesn't think I've actually done anything except teach him that he can say and do what he wants without consequences. This is because I didn't punish him and convinced the restaurant owner to 'look the other way.' In this case I didn't feel more needed to be said or done because what he said wasn't that bad and he seemed sorry. Now that the other parents know what happened everyone is split. Most of the dads agree with me and have similar views while the moms are taking the same view as my wife."
The original post ended there, but before the Reddit community could deliver its judgement, Redditors asked what the joke was.
And his edit truly changed a few people's point of view.
"The waitress they had was Indian, so my son said that he no longer felt like he was in the mood for Italian and wanted that instead," he wrote. "He then asked her if she could help him with that."
People, in particular women, were flummoxed at his reaction and how he handled it.
"You're raising the guy that none of us want to date," wrote one user. "If they were asked to leave, then I promise you it wasn't 'not that bad.' Great. Yet another contribution of a guy that has no respect for women and sees us only a sex objects."
Others wrote that the issue was so much deeper than him "hitting on a girl."
"This- it's not like he was hitting on a waitress (inappropriate) because he liked her or anything and did it badly," admonished another. "That was no joke. He did it to show off how he could belittle a woman in front of his friends (who were also doing it) in a situation she supposedly could not walk away from. And you're condoning and explaining it away like it was nothing…And you lied to your wife"
Another user pointed out an important point: By not telling his wife and downplaying her feelings, he really is belittling her.
"So it seems like all the women in the situation (all the moms) think that this is an inappropriate thing to say to a women and he needs to face consequences- and the men in the situation think they are wrong, and the women are overreacting," summed up the user. "The women in the situation are the ones who know how the waitress feels dealing with this s— every day, and who don't want their sons to become the a–holes that make women miserable. LISTEN TO THEM. Believe their life experience in what it is like to be sexually harassed all the time is better than yours. You are doing that kid zero favors by working things out for him. He IS learning from you that what he did isn't that bad."
Amen. In short: Do better dad. And maybe make him apologize to the actual waitress, and not just her boss, hmm?
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
