If moms find that their brains are working a little differently post-birth, they're not imagining things. According to Time magazine, studies have found that changes to the gray matter of pregnant women's brains were there even years after they'd given birth. These changes can lead to some minor gaps in cognitive functions like forgetting certain words, walking into a room and not remembering what we wanted to do there, having trouble focusing, etc. But there are ways to work with our new brains, and mom coach Hannah Keeley has a ton of "mom brain" hacks to help us out.
"It's such a jolt before and after we have children because it's hard to process," Keeley, who has seven kids and a background in behavioral therapy and neuroscience, tells CafeMom. "We always think … 'When will it get back to normal?' It doesn't because all these studies are longitudinal studies that show that our brain pretty much stays this way. So we have to learn how to adapt."
Here are 15 ways we can learn to combat the pitfalls of mom brain.
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The 'Carpe Mane' Hack
Seizing the day (aka carpe diem) can be a really overwhelming way to frame things, Keeley thinks. "We never know what the day's gonna look like, honestly. And we can get down on ourselves when we schedule things and then we can't fulfill it because of the unforeseen circumstances that happen," she tells us.
Instead, she recommends seizing the morning first and then reevaluating how the rest of the day will look as we go. "We do morning chunks, afternoon chunks, evening chunks," Keeley says. "Give yourself room to be able to get to it when you can get to it."
Get Rest
Keeley thinks that a lack of sleep — especially common for new moms — exacerbates any mom brain issues. She knows that the idea of "nap when the baby's napping" isn't very realistic. Instead, she encourages moms to look at where they can cut out mindless scrolling on apps or mindless TV in favor of real rest.
"If we're more intentional about it … we are allowing ourselves ample time to get rest when the opportunity presents itself," she says.
Don't Let Social Media Get in Our Heads
Speaking of mindless scrolling, Keeley cautions against using social media to try to compare journeys of motherhood. "You feel like everyone's doing great … and we're the only ones who can't find our other shoe, you know?" she says. "Maybe they're not doing as great as you think they are."
Social media can often be a highlight reel. Just because a new mother seems totally put together online doesn't mean she is. We're not alone in our mom brain journeys.
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The 'Fraulein Maria' Hack
Keeley named this hack after Julie Andrews' character in The Sound of Music, saying that it's all about moms changing perspective to realize what we're capable of. "If a nun can scale mountains to escape an evil dictator and take … kids that aren't even her own with her, what can I succeed at today?" she says.
Well, when it's put that way …
Lean Into the Good Content
I tell Keeley a story about when my mom forgot the word for "lie" and called it a "not truth." It's a memory my brother and I still fondly recall today. When I suggest that moms try to reframe their possible cognitive slips or mom brain mistakes as funny memories for their kids or friends, she agrees.
"Own it, totally," she says. "It does yield really good content at cocktail parties."
The 'Bow Tie' Hack
Keeley uses this hack to finish up tasks. "Instead of stopping when I get to 85%, I'm going to 'tie a bow' on this gift and do the last 15%." Imagining it as a present makes it a little more tangible, and it is kind of a gift to ourselves that we won't have to do that 15% later if we just do it now.
The 'Beyoncé' Hack
Keeley wants us to pull from Beyoncé's alter ego hack. The singer is known for using her "Sasha Fierce" persona when she performs on stage. What if we also give ourselves an alter ego to help increase our own confidence and energy? If it worked for Bey, it's certainly worth a try.
How Our Partners Can Help
For those of us parenting with someone else, we can share the load of the problems that come up with mom brain.
"The way that my husband supports me best is not making it a thing," Keeley says. She adds that instead of making a mom feel bad for not doing something or having an off moment, she recommends that partners ask, 'How can I support you?' Then the mom can lean into that and allow the support that she needs," she says.
The 'Future Self Favor' Hack
"This hack works by perceiving your efforts and your work as a favor for the future version of yourself," Keeley explains. "When you enjoy the benefits the next day, remember to thank your past self!"
Just think how glad we'll be when we wake up tomorrow and some things are already clean and put away. We'll be so grateful that we gave ourselves that favor ahead of time.
Start the Day with a Smoothie
Keeley starts every day with what she calls her "mom brain smoothie." It's filled with foods designed to boost brain power such as blueberries, avocados, chia seeds, and more. For the full recipe, check out Keeley's Facebook video seen above. She's been drinking the smoothie for years and swears by it.
End the Night With Some Tea
We can bookend our days just like Keeley does by starting with the brain-boosting smoothie and ending with her "fog clearing tea." She uses the tea to calm her for bed while also providing brain support. Get the full recipe in her Facebook video seen above.
The 'Whistle Blower' Hack
Keeley wants to make sure moms stop any negative thoughts in their tracks — because that's definitely not the way to motivate anyone. "Negative internal dialogue is a big obstacle for moms. When you sense it happening, blow the whistle … and break the pattern."
We can imagine the whistle or go the extra mile and get a real one!
The 'In-Laws' Hack
"This hack works by leveraging a sense of urgency," Keeley says. "Imagine that your in-laws just called and they're coming over for dinner that night. Talk about an energy shift!"
We've all been there when we hear that someone is coming over to the house unexpectedly and suddenly we're so much more motivated. We can use that to our advantage with this mindset shift – without actually having to entertain the in-laws at the end of things.
Go to Mom Boot Camp
Need a little extra help on a journey? Keeley offers "Mom Boot Camp" courses that delve further into learning how to work with our brains, even as they're seemingly trying to work against us. She runs the boot camp programs every week to help us learn to deal with our mom brains.
Give Ourselves Grace
Ultimately Keeley says moms need to be patient with themselves and with their brains. "I can opt to have compassion instead of criticism toward myself," she says. "It's just my brain and it's OK and I'm perfectly fine. … Let me just step back a little bit, take a breather."
When we had our babies, our minds made room for watching out for all the potential hidden dangers our kids could encounter. It's OK if we can't think of the exact word we're looking for or we walk into a room and forget why we're there. We're doing our best to be good, loving, kind parents, and that's really all we can ask of our brains.
