Mom ‘Shames’ Fellow Mama Breastfeeding 6-Year-Old at the Park

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There is so much pressure in parenting, and the very last thing any of us need is to be an extra burden to other moms. Unfortunately, mom shaming happens in all areas of parenting, even breastfeeding. Some aren't comfortable feeding their child in public whereas others work hard to let go of the fear of judgment and focus on their kids' needs. Even still, shaming happens, and one mom found herself called out for "breastfeeding shaming" a fellow mom, and she's not sure if that's what she did.

The mom accused of shaming took to Reddit to get advice on a situation that happened when she was at the park with her daughter.

Posting to Reddit's AITA forum, a mom (OP) gave some background information on her family before diving into the incident. "OK, so my kids (F3 and M2) had their flu vaccine scheduled in the middle of a pre school session, so me & husband decided not to take them in for it, & just have a nice day all together instead," she shared. "So we went to the flu clinic then the park."

The OP said she and her family went to the park and it was lovely, at first.

"We had been there for 35 minutes, there were probably 4 other toddlers there with their grownups," the OP said. "I was pushing my 3yo on the swing, and my partner was playing with our 2yo on the little bouncers. We were all having a good time, me & the girl are chatting/giggling, & daddy is laughing with the boy."

Then, the OP and her husband noticed another woman at the park.

"So then, a woman comes in with her kid that looked older, probs 6/7. They wander for a bit, her son seems kind of stroppy & huffy, & is complaining. So then she sits down on the benches in the middle of the park within eyeline of everyone else at the park, and starts to breastfeed him!"

Apparently, this was shocking to the OP and her husband, so they exchanged a look.

"I made eye contact with my husband, and he widened his eyes and kind of nodded in her direction, and then I kind of grimace back to him," the OP wrote. "She didn't see this," she added, but her daughter noticed.

"However my daughter 'Molly', who is very chatty/speaks quite loudly, immediately says to me 'Mummy, why has that lady got her booby out?', to which I reply 'I think… she is giving the boy some booby milk'," the OP recalled.

Then she gave a play-by-play of how the conversation continued with her daughter.

"We then have a conversation that went something like this," the mom wrote, recalling that her daughter had plenty of questions that she did her best to answer.

"Molly : Is that like when Jane (SIL) feeds booby milk to baby Harry (cousin)?

Me : yeah

Molly: but that boy isn't a baby. He's a big boy, like Ruby (older cousin)

Me : yeah, I know

Molly : Why would he drink booby milk from a mummy if he is a big boy?

Me : Honestly, I dont know why.

Molly : its a silly thing for big children to do isnt it

Me : mhh

Molly : he could have food instead, like broccoli or eggs or jelly

Me (seeing an opportunity to get out of this convo): or cake. Do you like cake? You've got a treat cake for having your vaccination, and a smoothie in the car. Shall we go home soon?"

The mom thought she dodged a bullet when she left the park to head to her car.

"We then got off the swing, had a play on the slide said goodbye to the park & went over to the car, & clipped them in," the OP wrote. "While I was getting their snacks out of the back, the breastfeeding woman came over without her kid."

The woman who was breastfeeding called out the mom's behavior. According to the OP, the breastfeeding mom said, "'I'm disgusted about how you have shamed me for naturally feeding my child.'" The OP added that the mom said something to the effect of "I should teach my daughter that breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, & I obviously don't care for their emotional/physical wellbeing, and that they need breastmilk instead of their 'toxic' cake and smoothie."

The OP wrote, "She had obviously heard the uncomfortable conversation I had with my daughter, which I thought I handled well!" She continued, "I was speechless for a second, but then said to her that if she really cared for her kid then she wouldn't leave him standing in a busy car park on his own."

The OP told her to "'wind her f–ing neck in,'" adding, "her son was just stood in front of her car alone, on the road. I then slammed my [trunk], got in the car and told my husband to drive!"

She told her husband what happened with the breastfeeding mom, and he said she was a bit in the wrong, but she added "but honestly I dont think I was (except swearing)."

She asked the Reddit community for their thoughts on what happened.

"NTA," one person wrote. "You didn't shame or complain here. You tried to answer your daughter's questions as best you could and then distract her. The woman was obviously eavesdropping and felt that it was her place to guilt you for not handling it the way she would have."

The person continued, "There is stigma in feeding an older child absolutely so I get that it may not have been nice to overhear such an awkward convo but that doesn't give her the right to tell you how to parent your child in such a situation. Had you actually been saying anything to her directly then you would have been the AH but you weren't."

A second person agreed. "You fielded a teaching moment. Your transcript doesn’t indicate that you stated it was weird. You maybe could have been more neutral, but I don’t think it was bad. The other lady was far ruder than you were for just coming up and confronting you."

"NTA," another person wrote. "She was eavesdropping on a conversation you had with your daughter in which you explained everything without once shaming her. You didn’t say it was wrong or unhealthy, just that you weren’t sure why."

The person continued, "I do want to point out that breastfeeding until 4 or 5 is normal in many cultures and I would’ve looked 6/7 at that age because I was really tall. But she was out of line for coming up to you when you were just honestly (and not rudely) answering your daughters questions."