Every year, we publish story after story about children who’ve been forgotten in a hot car. More often than not these stories end tragically. Children lose their lives in a very uncomfortable and preventable way every single summer. The parents and family are left to live with guilt, shame, and the loss of their child.
Thankfully, this wasn’t the case for one family. A neighbor saw the forgotten baby in the back seat of their car and managed to save her. But now, this father who owes his neighbor so much is being absolutely ridiculous.
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'Lance' got distracted by a work call and left his daughter in the car.
One mother, who named herself "At a Loss," wrote in to Slate’s Dear Prudence advice column to ask how she should respond to her husband’s appalling behavior. She shared that last month her husband, “Lance,” brought their 10-month-old daughter, Isabelle, home from day care, and once he pulled into the driveway, he got a call from work that distracted him.
He went inside the house without Isabelle. It was 95 degrees outside. “By some miracle, our next-door neighbor’s 13-year-old daughter 'Aubrey' was in her front yard and saw Lance pull up,” the mother writes.
“From what Aubrey told me, she went and got a hedge trimmer her dad had borrowed from us and came over to return it. While walking past the car, she spotted Isabelle in her car seat. She tried to open the doors, but they were locked. She dropped the trimmer, rushed to our front door, and rang the doorbell repeatedly.”
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Thankfully, she did more than just ring the doorbell.
The OP had just gotten out of the shower and was drying off, so she didn’t make a move for the doorbell. Later, she learned that her husband, still on the call, ignored the doorbell altogether. When Aubrey couldn’t get anyone to answer the door, she ran back to the car and used the hedge trimmer to smash open the window to get Isabelle out.
“Isabelle was unconscious by then and Aubrey rushed her inside her house to her mother, who is a nurse,” the OP continued. “I only became aware of what was transpiring when I came downstairs and heard Aubrey’s 10-year-old brother 'Alex' pounding on our door and yelling for me and my husband. I opened up and was told by a terrified Alex what happened.”
The couple rushed over to the neighbor’s house to find Isabelle lying on the kitchen floor. Aubrey and her mother were working to cool her down with cold compresses and a portable fan.
“After several terror-filled minutes, Isabelle woke up and began to cry just as the ambulance arrived,” OP wrote.
Isabelle was taken to a hospital for observation. Thankfully, everything was fine and she was released the next day. The doctor said had she been in the car 10 minutes longer, she would not have survived.
The OP said she “gave [her] husband h—” for what happened to their daughter and he’s been remorseful. Still, his behavior afterward has her “seeing red.”
'Their daughter saved my baby’s life.. ... and he wants Aubrey’s parents to cover the d--- deductible!'
She wrote that her husband’s car is customized and he treasures it. When Aubrey was breaking out the window, she put some dents in the body of the car and scratched the paint on the door. The couple has insurance and only ended up paying $1,000. Still, Lance is insisting that Aubrey’s parents reimburse them for that fee.
“I cannot believe this,” the OP wrote. “Their daughter saved my baby’s life (she even cut her arm in the process and needed stitches!) after my husband forgot about her and he wants Aubrey’s parents to cover the d— deductible!”
The OP told her husband that this is disgusting and he’s the only one truly at fault. But he claims that Aubrey’s dad makes a lot of money and can afford it. Lance said he’ll give Aubrey’s parents a chance to pay for it before he takes them to court. OP asked Prudence what do to make her husband see reason.
Prudence asked the OP to consider her husband's behavior prior to this incident.
Prudence, aka Jenée Desmond Harris, suggested this mother consider whether her husband’s behavior represents a pattern in their lives. She asked, “Be honest, is your husband typically emotionally clueless, vindictive, and unreasonable?” She made sure to note that she was not even referencing him leaving their daughter in the car.
“As upsetting as that was, I know it happens to loving parents who are tired and distracted all too often. He’s forgiven for that. But his determination to get money from the neighbors is truly shocking,” Prudence pointed out.
Prudence wrote that it's time for this mom to ask herself some tough questions.
“I can see two possibilities at play. He might be spiraling out of control due to guilt (and maybe some postpartum depression? Men can get it too!) and behaving uncharacteristically. If that’s the case, he’s way overdue for therapy," the columnist continued.
"The alternative is that he’s an antisocial, ungrateful person and I’m sure you have plenty of evidence in addition to what’s in this letter that he truly can’t be reasoned with. If that sounds closer to the truth, I don’t think you’ll be able to change his mind but you might start to reevaluate whether you two have enough in common to continue to share a life.”
Prudence concluded noting that if Lance became the OP's ex-husband, everyone would understand exactly why that was the case.
