Having a large family can be both a blessing and a curse. Lots of kids also means lots of expenses. It can also mean more work for older siblings if the parents rely on them to help with the younger kids. If the parents have the means to afford a large family and everyone is happy, it can be amazing. If money is tight and parents keep adding to their brood, however, it can become a stressful situation.
The oldest child in a family of seven kids recently posted in Reddit's Am I the A–hole forum about his frustration with his parents and their growing family. He explained that his parents just announced they were expecting their eighth baby after years of financial struggle and a promise not to have more children. He is devastated and feels like the pressure is on him to provide for this new baby at just 16 years old. Is he a jerk for telling them how he feels?
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The family was never supposed to be so big.
According to the original poster, his parents had him and his sister, and things were tight. They added one more son to the family and swore that was it. But it appears that wasn't really the case. OP's parents don't have a lot of money or space, and the financial burden began to fall on him. He wrote that he started working at 13 just to help them get by.
"The weight of being the oldest is already a lot and I have paid for stuff before. I babysit so my parents can work nights or get a break. I take care of the house most days so they can focus on earning money. But it's a lot and we're really too big of a family for what we can actually afford. My parents get help from the government but it doesn't go far because they're not good with money or with buying groceries," he explained.
OP was shocked by their latest pregnancy news.
He said his parents sat down all the kids to tell them they were expecting another baby. They told their other children their mom was 14 weeks along and that they'd known for a while but weren't sure how to tell them and called the baby an "accident." OP began to cry and shared his disappointment and frustration with his parents. They told him to check his attitude and to focus on the positive instead of the negative.
"I know people say that having money isn't as important as long as you have a loving family and maybe that's true for some people. But mine feel like a weight I have to carry and not something I'm blessed with. They're a responsibility on me, a burden really," he wrote. "And maybe that's awful to say but it's how I really feel. I hate worrying about what'll happen if they can't afford the bills or if my laptop breaks and I can't afford to fix it or get a new one. Or what if we can't afford food or we can but I have to pay for groceries instead of save."
Redditors' hearts broke for OP.
People genuinely felt sorry for the teen and told him none of this was his responsibility.
"NTA. Your feelings are perfectly reasonable. You still need to think about your future; don't let their decision to have another child de-rail you. Keep saving. Groceries are NOT your responsibility," someone wrote.
Another person agreed and put it all on the parents, writing, "Your parents are irresponsible and you have every right to be upset. This is going to affect you and your siblings. You've been parentified a lot and they no doubt expect you to take on more. Let them know you will leave as soon as you can."
Some even suggested OP contact the authorities.
Several Redditors thought what OP's parents were doing would be considered abuse or neglect.
"NTA-You need to call CPS. Your parents don't have enough money to take care of their kids. You should NOT be helping. If they can't take care of their kids without your help, then you need to call CPS," one person wrote. "What if you or someone else in your family is in an accident, comes down with a medical illness? What will happen then? You need to get help now. If you are struggling now, it can only take a moment before things come crashing down. Please, call CPS."
"It's way past time to call CPS. This is a dangerous and unhealthy situation for all the kids. They will not survive and will struggle even more," someone else commented. "Your parents should not be having kids they can't afford. Trust CPS, they will find a way to help and keep the kids together while they figure things out with your parents. But nothing will get better until you talk to CPS and tell them everything in detail."
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OP needs to look out for himself.
He is a kid who doesn't need to be responsible for other kids who aren't his. He can love his parents and siblings but shouldn't have to pay for their decisions. One person put it very bluntly, writing, "Then tell them you are not being responsible for their children anymore. Leave them to drown."
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