Tanius Posey, a transgender man, has a few choice words for social media users who slammed him for breastfeeding his child. The 31-year-old dad recently talked about his transition process, his reaction after finding out he was pregnant, and how he navigates life as a transgender dad with his son by his side.
In an exclusive interview with Truly published in the New York Post, Posey explained that he was assigned as female at birth and started "medically transitioning" in the last six years. He was inspired by one of his coworkers, who is also transgender, to start the process. "I finally found myself," he said in the interview. "Once I began my transition, I felt whole."
After transitioning, Posey knew having a child wasn't an option after doctors told him he would have to freeze his eggs. In late 2021, he went to the hospital thinking he had contracted COVID-19 because he wasn't feeling well.
Posey was shocked to learn he was three months pregnant.
The 31-year-old said he “certainly did not see [his pregnancy] coming at all," and explained that he had to stop taking testosterone "cold turkey," which was hell. Posey said he initially did not want to breastfeed his son Za’nius. He was concerned about the potential reactions he would receive for breastfeeding his child in public.
"I was worried about what society had to say about me feeding [and] the reason why I began sharing my chest feeding journey because you don't see any trans men out there nursing or whatever, and there's a lot that wants to," Posey explained.
He eventually became a full-time content creator and started sharing his experience on TikTok. Posey realized there were no trans people of color sharing their pregnancy journeys on the platform and wanted to be the first to "normalize it."
TikTok users called Posey a 'seahorse dad' because male seahorses are known to carry their babies.
Posey said he received mixed reactions from people online after posting videos of him breastfeeding his now-1-year-old son to his TikTok account. He recalled one user saying, "men don't nurse babies." Another said, "[his child] is going to live a corrupt life because he's feeding off of a man."
Surprisingly, many of the comments Posey received were from other trans individuals within their community. “Somebody said [his son] is gonna resent me once he finds out that I carried him, and he’s gonna be so confused or whatnot because he doesn’t have a mom and dad,” Posey explained.
Despite the negative comments on social media, Posey has developed a large following of over 929,200 and has more than 10 million views on his TikTok page.
Posey said the backlash he's received has affected him.
“I got a lot of backlash; it got the best of me real bad [at first],” Posey admitted. “But I’m, like, maybe if I continue sharing I might be able to help the next individual," he said.
“I’ve got the parts to be able to [breastfeed],” he told Truly. “Just because I transitioned does not mean I stripped myself from wanting to give my child nutrients."
“I’ve got it — why not utilize what I’ve got? My child has to eat. I can’t sit there and starve him. He’s gotta eat and he doesn’t take a bottle, so I’ve got to feed him,” he added.
Posey has responded to those who criticized him for his parenting choices.
“We gotta stop living under a rock — we’ve gotta open up our eyes and realize there’s more than one way to live," he said.
Posey wants to remove the negative stigma around transgender individuals raising their children in an ever-changing society.
“We’ve got the parts; it does not make us any less of a man. We are still a man, regardless of how society feels about us,” Posey added. “Utilize the parts you got.”
At Wild Sky Media, we recognize that not all pregnancies and parenting journeys look the same. That’s why across all our sites — CafeMom, LittleThings, Mom.com, and MamásLatinas — we are committed to using inclusive language as much as possible, recognizing that all forms of parenting are valid and celebrating the shared experiences and unique differences among moms, dads, nonbinary and noncisgender parents, and all forms of caregivers.
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