Like any expecting mother, I had a few grandiose ideas of what I'd teach my son and how I'd raise him. Some were utterly unattainable (I didn't exactly ban screens like I thought I would) and some stuck like glue. Overall, I anticipated that roles would go with myself as the teacher and my son as the "student." While I have successfully shown him how to pee in a toilet and brush his own teeth, the truth is he's taught me more than I ever expected.
I've come to a pretty solid conclusion in his three short years of life: My little man is goals.
Truly, I want to be him when I grow up.
For starters, he has it made. He wakes up, plays and snacks all day, takes a nap, has a full-time butt-wiper (aka me) and is generally living the little kid dream. I mean, who wouldn't want that lifestyle full time?
Jokes aside, I'm convinced my son's got the secret to life figured out already: Just be where ever it is you are.
No matter what he is doing, he's fully experiencing it. That includes all the good and the bad.
He feels big and deeply. It's not that I also want to have meltdowns because it's time for bed, but that he feels his feelings with wild abandon is something I crave. My son sugarcoats nothing. If he doesn't like something, he'll tell you. Sure, at times it's very annoying, like when he is absolutely convinced a piece of broccoli will kill him, but when he loves something, he does so openly.
When he tells me he loves me, it's impossible not to believe him. When he looks at me and tells me I'm beautiful (even though it's likely a ploy to get him a cookie or something), I still believe him, because he says it with no malice in his heart.
My son's imagination is something I can hardly describe.
One minute we are hunting a dragon, the next we are Catboy and Gekko from The PJ Masks. He spends every moment maximizing his time. And while that exhausts me to my core some days, for him it is just how his marvelous little brain works. Who wouldn't want to be that creative?
My son has no biases outside of snack choices. He moves about this world looking at everything with equal eyes. Give him a few minutes and he will include everyone he can. He has no interest in excluding or hurting anyone. After all, the game only gets more fun when there are more players. I'd love to be able to make sure I go into every one of my encounters with an open heart and understanding.
Most impressively, my son is incredible at living in the moment.
Every trip to the playground, every walk on the beach, or even getting to watch his favorite show is the best day ever. And there's not a single part of that feeling that isn't genuine. My son hardly worries about being elsewhere except for where he is. He's never looking to move on to the next thing, he just flows into it, happily and openly. What a gift to be able to truly live in the now!
That's why when I "grow up" I want to be exactly as my son is now.
Neither of us are perfect, and there are days I'm not so doe-eyed and wistful about him. Ultimately though, the sincerity, kindness, and passion with which my son (and many other toddlers) operates with is something worth aspiring to. Watching him grow into this special person with limitless potential is the best part about my job as a mom. Every day he teaches me to live my life in the here and now, authentically. Living my life with that much love and wonder cannot possibly be a bad thing.
When I grow up, I want to be like my son, and I hope I can make him as proud of me as I am of him.
