For years, parents have warned their children about “stranger danger.” Even though it’s important for kids to understand personal safety, one woman is making the argument that the term “stranger danger” is more harmful than it is helpful. Instead, she explains, parents should be talking to their kids about “tricky people.”
The woman, who posts as @StrivingDefense on TikTok, makes the argument that stranger danger can be a pretty misleading and confusing term for children. “I think we need to start moving away from ‘stranger danger’ and more toward what a ‘tricky person’ looks like,” she explained in the clip.
What’s the difference between a dangerous stranger and a tricky person? A “tricky person” could be anyone, not necessarily a stranger.
She explained why it’s important to make this distinction.
“Tricky people are the ones you need to look out for,” the woman argued. She explained the difference between a safe adult and a tricky person. For example, “a safe adult is never going to ask a child for help” and “a safe adult is never going to ask a child to keep a secret from their parents.”
She emphasized that keeping kids safe is about highlighting behaviors that a safe adult would never exhibit rather than teaching them that only strangers are dangerous. “There’s strangers everywhere,” she added in the video. “Everyone is a stranger until you get to know them. Tricky people could be people that you know.”
The woman also listed some examples of potential tricky people, such as a coach, a family member, or a neighbor. “It could be so many people who aren’t strangers, which is why we need to move away from ‘stranger danger,'” she emphasized. “These tricky people are going to be people that you know, most likely.”
Many parents agreed with this take.
@strivingdefense Tricky people vs stranger danger
♬ original sound – StrivingDefense
Lots of other parents said this way of talking to kids about personal safety should be normalized. They said that unfortunately, warning kids about strangers isn’t enough to keep them safe. “We don’t look out for stranger danger,” one parent commented on the video. “We look out for strange behavior.”
Another person wrote, “Stranger danger truly did so much damage. Statistically, it’s a family member or friend.”
A former nanny recalled teaching kids a similar lesson. “I nannied and love this!!” the person shared. “I always relate it to that sneaky ‘Swiper the Fox’… Dora KNEW him- not a stranger! From there learning the sneaky signs to look for can help build their skills.”
