Being an aunt is a really important role to most people. There is something so special about your sibling's child, and of course, you love the little one with all of your heart. You're typically thrilled to babysit and hang out with one of your favorite kiddos for a few hours, right?
But they are not yours, and you shouldn't be expected to watch them just because you are family. A woman recently posted to Reddit's AITA forum asking a situation like that. She adores her 1-year-old niece, Ava, and sometimes babysits her for her sister, but she's starting to feel like her sister is taking her for granted.
OP, who is 24, agreed to watch Ava for her sister and brother-in-law's anniversary three weeks before the date. In the meantime, a social event came up, and she had to cancel. She gave her sister five days' notice and figured she had made other arrangements when she didn't respond to her cancelation text.
On the day of the anniversary, OP's sister brought Ava over anyway and left her there, even though OP had already told her she could no longer babysit. Not wanting to change her plans, OP sought out another child care arrangement for her niece and ended up asking a friend of hers to babysit. Her sister is furious, and now OP wonders if she made the wrong choice.
OP is a doting aunt.
OP is the only relative of her sister and BIL who lives close by, so she babysits Ava for them often. She doesn't get paid, but she does it anyway because she loves the baby. She recently agreed to babysit, but when she found out her friends from college whom she had not seen in three years were coming to town, she canceled on her sister so she could see her friends.
"I gave my sister 5 days notice that I could no longer babysit on Friday, and that she should make other arrangements. She didn't respond to the text, but she read it, so I assumed it was OK," OP explained on Reddit.
Her sister showed up anyway.
Despite making it clear to her sister that she had other plans, OP's sister dropped off Ava off at her house. She never responded to OP's text, so OP assumed she had made other arrangements, and she was confused when her sister showed up with the baby.
"On Friday however sister stopped by my house with Ava. I was confused and asked why she was here, she told me she was leaving Ava with me as originally planned. I said again I was busy, she replied that family is more important than my 'silly college friends' and I should step up to my responsibility as an aunt," OP explained.
OP didn't even get a chance to protest before her sister and BIL were gone. She repeatedly tried to get in touch with them, but her sister had turned her phone off. Bold move.
OP was in a sticky situation.
Obviously, OP wasn't going to leave Ava alone, but she didn't want to cancel her plans either. OP didn't know where to turn with no other family members around. However, she has a friend named Jade who lives close by and babysits as a side hustle, so she figured that was the perfect solution and called her to see if she was available.
Jade said she was happy to help and would babysit at no charge. OP "thanked her profusely and dropped Ava off."
It was time for OP to text her sister and tell her what was happening.
OP texted her sister and explained that Ava was with Jade and her sister should pick her up there.
"It's relevant to the story that neither sister nor Ava know Jade personally. My sister didn't respond immediately but after about 2 hours she started spamming my phone. I turned my phone off, as I was already out by that point anyway," OP wrote on Reddit.
Well, sis wasn't happy about the situation.
OP's sister picked Ava up at the end of her date with her husband.
OP's sister went to pick up Ava later that evening. She was fine, "However my sister and BIL are furious at me for 'dumping Ava with a stranger' (even though they know Jade is a trusted friend of mine.) They accused me of endangering my own niece. Many other family members have sided with them and I've been getting angry texts all weekend," she explained.
Her sister left her in a really crappy situation, but now OP wants to know if she made the wrong choice.
First, Redditors thought that OP's sister was the one who did the 'dumping.'
Redditors sided with OP and agreed that Ava's mom was the one who dumped her with OP.
"Not to mention sister dropped Ava off after being told she wouldn't babysit, let's call it what it is. Sister abandoned Ava," one person wrote.
"Funny how 'stepping up as an aunt' means she gets to step down as a parent," another reader mentioned.
People took OP's sister's actions pretty seriously.
"Your sister abandoned her daughter on your doorstep and ran away. You should have called the police and CPS on her. NTA," one comment read.
Some people thought that OP was somewhat in the wrong.
One person's suggested that even though it is not OP's responsibility to drop everything to take care of Ava, the baby doesn't know Jade, so that's why having someone else watch her was a problem.
"Only a partial YTA for the fact that Ava had never seen Jade before. A toddler of that age may or may not warm up to a stranger easily," the person explained. "In future, REFUSE any orders from your sister/BIL to babysit your niece. All the relatives siding with them can do the babysitting for them."
Others were conflicted and could see both sides of the story.
As one person commented, "nta if it wasn't someone you knew had experience i would say yta…honestly can understand why parents were upset they didn't know her so of course they would be upset but i look at it as more there own fault then yours…they crossed the boundary not you."
Redditors believe that OP's sister was the jerk.
Redditors pretty much agreed that OP's sister is the a–hole because she made her child someone else's responsibility, which isn't fair. OP is only 24 and deserves to live her young life.
"NTA — as a single parent that depends on babysitters to have a life, I would be ecstatic if one gave me 5-days notice to tell me they were no longer available. Usually it's same day notice when they cancel," one commenter wrote. "Your sister should have back up sitters available and not depend wholly on you. Your sister is the AH for purposely ignoring your text and trying to drop off her kid knowing you couldn't watch her anymore."
Plus, OP's sister totally ignored her calls. What if an emergency had happened?
"She left her kid and bolted. She then ignored your calls. What happened if there was an emergency and you were trying to reach them?" another commenter pointed out. "Your sister is TA. She also just lost free babysitting privilege. I would refuse to babysit for them in the future. If she does that again then the next call would be to the police for abandonment of a minor."
Sorry, sis. You aren't going to win this argument.
"Lol! You endangered Ava, and yet they didn't pick her up until later that evening instead of rushing back! They were clearly not overly concerned! one person shared. "NTA, but people who have kids and dump them on others are."
But honestly, it wasn't very considerate of OP either.
If we're being honest, though, it's kind of messed up that OP committed to babysitting knowing it was their wedding anniversary then backed out.
It might have been more considerate to tell her sister what was going on and ask her if she could find another sitter or even offer to help her find one and connect her with Jade ahead of time, rather than simply shirking a commitment already made. A follow-up text or phone call would've been good too.
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