Weddings can be the thing that brings your family together — or the lightning rod that tears your family apart. Unfortunately for one person, her brother’s wedding is really starting to resemble the latter. Now a young woman and her future sister-in-law are fighting over how much she should get paid to babysit during the wedding.
Things started to fall apart only a week before her brother, 'Nate,' and his fiancée, 'Emily,' got married.
The Original Poster, aka OP, was always close to her brother growing up, but her future sister-in-law was a different story. “we don't get along at all,” OP explained in her post on Reddit's AITA forum.
“She hasn't done anything to me, I haven't done anything to her, we just don't see eye to eye on things.”
Her brother and his fiancée are having a 'child-free' wedding.
Meaning anyone younger than 21 isn’t allowed — including the 20-year-old OP.
“Originally, I wasn't allowed to be there for the ceremony or reception. I told Nate how much it would hurt to not be there for his big day, so he ended up convincing Emily to let me stay for the ceremony,” she recalled.
At a recent family dinner, Emily shared a new idea she had for the wedding.
She wanted to offer day care for guests who had kids.
“And somehow, she mentioned that she would love for me and my boyfriend (20 M) to look over the kids,” she explained. The two love kids and are even studying to be a teacher and pediatrician, respectively.
“We were on board with it until we heard that we'd be watching 40-ish kids for six hours,” she continued, “and only get paid $50 each.”
The two asked for $150 each 'but Emily insisted on her original offer.'
“Then Nate got involved, saying he told Emily that we'd be happy to watch the children and it would save them a lot of money, and how it's too late for them to find a different sitter,” she recalled.
The more the OP said no, the angrier Emily became.
“She proceeded to tell me that I was being a greedy, selfish brat, and that I should be paying her since she'd be giving me practice for my teaching career,” she continued in her post. “And then she said that if I don't do this, I will ruin her wedding and won't be welcome at the ceremony.”
Things were so heated, the whole restaurant was staring at their table while Emily exploded.
The group paid for their food and left — but the conversation was still bothering the OP.
“I honestly don't care about babysitting. In fact, I would probably do it for free. My entire family knows this. That's why they're so mad at me right now,” she wrote.
But the OP doesn't want to say yes because she’s tired of Emily’s attitude.
“I'm sick of Emily being a b—- to me,” she explained. “I feel bad for putting Nate in this position and I hope this doesn't ruin our relationship too much, but it is what it is.”
“Am I the a–hole for ruining my brother's wedding and potentially our relationship?” she asked.
Overwhelmingly, people in the comments section thought the OP had nothing to feel bad about.
"NTA," one commenter wrote. "Your brother is awful, Emily is even worse. I’d skip the whole d— thing and go out for a nice dinner with your boyfriend."
"This whole situation is ridiculous," another commenter. "Excluding a 20-year-old SIBLING of the groom because a wedding is 'child-free' is ridiculous. Expecting you to do really hard work for almost no money while you're being excluded is ridiculous. Stick to your guns now because this is the kind of person who will push boundaries forever if you don't."
"NTA … and you probably don't get along with Emily because she seems exceedingly entitled and ungrateful," chimed in a third person.
Other people thought she was a little responsible for their falling out.
One person thought everyone sucked. "She's an AH for the way she's treating you," the person wrote. "but you, I don't understand. you've complained about not being in the wedding because you're under age, but then you'd be at the wedding, but working with children."
"YTA," another commenter agreed. "It's not what you did or refused to do, it's how you negotiated it with the bride."
"Your future SIL sounds awful as I hate when people make these edicts about 'child-free' weddings and consider everyone under 21 a child. I understand your frustration but in many ways you are being difficult on principle," another person commented. "You are putting your brother in an impossible position. I totally get not liking a sibling’s spouse but unless they are abusive or an addict, it is difficult to get a sibling to understand why they’re the wrong person. You should step up & do the right thing and give your family a little stress relief."
We're not sure that's the right way to think. The OP would be doing her brother and his fiancée a huge favor — and it would be nice if they'd act like it.
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