Is it hot in here, or is just me?
Just me? I don't think so. Because I think that if any mom walked into her house to find what I just found she'd be feeling just like I do, which is a little—well, how can I say this politely?—hot.
So what is that I just found in my house that has me all hot and bothered?
An entirely clean kitchen.
Told ya: hot!
See, I happen to be married to a fantastic man. He's a dedicated partner to me, a deeply connected father to our two kids, and incredibly ambitious and hard working when it comes to his own career. He's just not that into the domestic duties that need to get accomplished for our household to work. It's not that he's not capable of doing things like the laundry or the dishes. He just doesn't do them. And when he does, he'll usually stop halfway through, claiming boredom. I've considered stopping halfway through sex claiming boredom too, but figured I'd still have to empty the dishwasher myself either way.
But truth be told, my husband's lack of interest or ability to help out around the house has often been a big source of contention in our marriage.
He may have lost interest in folding the laundry or picking up milk, but it still has to get done. That means I have to do it, which leaves me less time for other things. Sex is one of those things.
We married ladies get a bad rap for never wanting to have sex with our husbands.
Maybe all we need is for our husbands to be more helpful and thoughtful. I know I do. When we feel taken care of and supported in all aspects of life—even the ones guys get bored with halfway through—it makes us want to connect. So while it used to be fun to fool around on the couch or make out at the movies, now that I'm a mom, I like an entirely different kind of foreplay.
Here are 10 ways to really turn a mom on.
1. Fill my tank
This is not a euphemism for something sexy. It is what it is. When you're driving my car and you notice it's on empty, fill it up instead of coming home and saying, "You're on empty," so I'm stuck filling it at the crack of dawn before taking the kids to school.
2. No, you pick up dinner
Some time, some where, someone made a rule that says the person with the ovaries is always responsible for feeding all humans in the house. So instead of calling on the way home to say, "What did you get for dinner?" how about calling and saying, "I took care of dinner"?
3. Let me sleep by really letting me sleep in
I do most of the early mornings with the kids and I honestly don't mind, but that doesn't mean I couldn't use some extra sleep now and then. But the times the hubs does say he's going to grab the kids so I can sleep a bit longer, I'm disrupted by two kids standing over me shout-whispering, "Are you done resting yet?"
4. Take the kids so I canwork out
I know the quickest way to having a sexual embargo in my house is for me to feel like I'm out of shape. Give me an hour to go for a run or take a class and I'll be feeling good. Everybody wins!
5. How about you fold the laundry while I nap?
I spend a lot of time doing household chores while watching my husband take a nap. Maybe one day he could fold the kids' socks while I snooze. I'm turned on just thinking about it.
6. Figure it out
The person who decided women should always make dinner also decided that we know the answer to everything. We don't. And while I don't mind when my 4-year-old interrogates me with questions, I hate when my husband does. Figure it out, whatever it is, so I don't feel like I'm your mother, too.
7. Don't ask to have sex the minute the kids go to sleep
Seriously, give me 30 minutes and my answer will be entirely different than when you ask me 37 seconds after I've put the kids to bed.
8. Watch my stupid TV show with me without telling me how stupid it is
Instead of telling me how stupid my "housewife shows" are, just watch them with me without complaining. I'll feel connected to you and relaxed, which feels like foreplay already.
9. Don't question me when I get my hair done
We moms give up everything from our free time to our waistlines for our children, so if we're holding on to a few beauty rituals that makes us feel good about ourselves, don't question the time or the bill. Just remember, when we feel good about ourselves, we want to have sex.
10. Finish the job!
Don't stop halfway through the dishes. Finish the job, even if the job is boring. If you knew how happy we are at the sight of a thoroughly cleaned kitchen or a stack of perfectly folded laundry, you'd be doing it all the time.
What did I miss, ladies?
This essay originally appeared on our sister site Mom.me and was republished with permission.
