When it comes to parenting rules, everyone has a few of their own nonnegotiables. For one dad on Reddit, his main rule of thumb has always been "You break it, you bought it" — and his ex, who now co-parents their teen with him, usually agrees. Unfortunately, that rule recently caused quite a bit of drama after their teen ruined her aunt's homemade $12,000 wedding dress. Now, he's wondering if he may have gone too far by making her wipe out her savings to cover the cost.
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In his post, the dad first explained that he and his ex are in their early 30s and had their now 16-year-old daughter 'way too young.'
That said, it sounds like they did their best to raise the teen (whom the dad refers to as "C"), despite being just kids themselves when she was born. In the years since the couple's split, they've continued to co-parent her closely. But recently, something happened that's caused him to majorly question his daughter's morals.
It all started with his sister's recent engagement.
According to the poster, his younger sister is 27 and worked for years alongside their grandparents in their "seamstry store" before she officially took it over. Recently, she became engaged to her girlfriend, and their grandpa made the kind gesture of offering to make her fiancée a custom suit, "which she was over the moon about."
Then came the matter of the wedding dress ...
"Grandma had me ask Sis what her dream dress was and record the convo. Sis, thinking it was just between us, told me in great detail what her dream dress was," he wrote. "Though said it was way too expensive, so she would get something much cheaper."
Just a few months later, the grandma surprised his little sister with her 'dream wedding dress,' which fit perfectly — and made everyone cry.
It was a touching moment — sadly followed by a heartbreaking one when their grandmother died shortly afterward.
The dad says it hit the entire family hard, but his sister was particularly devastated.
Ultimately, the wedding dress wound up meaning that much more to her, as she felt like it now meant their grandmother would be with them in spirit at as she walked down the aisle.
The dad took C over to his sister's house — where she asked to try on the wedding dress.
His sister (and C's aunt) politely said no, partly because C is a lot bigger than his sister – to which he said "C made a face" but ultimately dropped the matter.
Later, he went to pick up dinner with his sister while C stayed behind to play with her aunt's dog. But when they returned, things went from totally fine to totally not in a matter of seconds.
Apparently, C had decided to try on the wedding dress anyway while she was alone — and it had ended in disaster.
"C had apparently tried to get it on, popping some seams, and got stuck," the dad shared. "Instead of waiting for help, she cut her way out. The dress was hacked to bits."
OH. MY. GOD.
In short, the dress was totally destroyed — and his sister was understandably irate.
She promptly asked them both to leave, and when the dad got home, he grounded his teen.
Then, he called his sister and asked if it could be saved. Sadly, she said no. "She said she'd make a new one, but it wasn't the same," he recalled.
That's also when he said she dropped a bomb on him — by telling him just how much the dress had cost.
"Grandma had hand-sewed most of the dress, used super expensive fabric, and put almost 500 hours in making that dress," he relayed, "since it was the only family wedding we'd have. In total, the dress cost 12,000 dollars, give or take."
That's right, y'all — 12 G's!
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Considering the dad's whole rule about paying for things you broke, he felt he had to stick to his guns.
His daughter actually did have about $15,000 in savings, which was meant to go toward college or to be saved for the future. He took her right down to the bank and started transferring the money.
"$12k to [her] aunt to pay for the new dress," he explained, "[and] $3k to my sister's wedding, as an emotional distress tax."
(Wow — he wasn't playing!)
"I explained exactly why this was happening to C, but she sobbed the entire time, asking what was she supposed to do for college and saying it wasn't her fault," he wrote. "I told her she could get a job if she didn't get a scholarship, and it was her fault for trying on the dress after she'd been told no, and for not waiting until we got back. A few popped seams could have been fixed. Hacking the dress to pieces couldn't."
He felt confident about his decision until his ex caught wind of the whole thing and accused him of "ruining" their daughter's future to pay for a dress that was "free" to begin with. Apparently, although she agrees that their daughter was in the wrong, she doesn't agree with the punishment, which caused him to ask Reddit: Who's in the right in this scenario?
A lot of people felt this was pretty cut and dry: The only person in the wrong here was his daughter.
"She 'ruined' her own future," one person wrote. "In my mind, that dress wasn't $12,000 or even $15,000 — it was priceless. It could have and should have been passed down for generations. I'm horrified your daughter did such a thing.
"Most kids don't go to college with savings, so she's just going to have to tough it out," the person added. "I hope she looks back one day and realizes the payment she made was severely short. I am so sorry this has happened to your family."
"Agree," another person jumped in. "It sounds like OP's family are just gracious, generous people. I wouldn't blame any bride who demands compensation for a ruined wedding dress, let alone one that was custom made by a now deceased family member."
Commenters were particularly floored by just how completely the dress had been destroyed.
"As a seamstress when I read popped seams I thought oh maybe it can be fixed," one person wrote. "My hopes were dashed expertly once I read that it was cut to ribbons. I think you did PRECISELY the right thing. All lessons come with a price, hope she learns hers now. She's 16 not 6, she knew what she was doing."
A lot of people didn't feel too bad that the girl was losing out on her savings, either.
After all, the dad later clarified that he and his ex planned to pay for her tuition, so this would be added "fun money" she'd get to spend while there.
"Your kid is a brat," one person declared. "Especially because she still doesn't get how emotionally devastating her actions were. She's only concerned that her fun money is gone … yikes. Sixteen-year-olds aren't stupid, and C knew d— well why she couldn't touch that dress, let alone try to wear it."
Others started to sense that maybe there was something more to the story, after all.
"Her intent seems malicious, and I hope you can truly get to the heart of why," one person wrote. "I'm guessing it's envy, but still, what a horrific, embarrassing way to behave!"
"I can't help wondering if the daughter lost her temper at the dress, or cut it out of jealousy, which is why it's so damaged," another commenter added. "Cause you wouldn't need to make more than 1 cut to get out of it."
That's when the plot twist of all plot twists came to light.
In an update to the post, the dad shared that he gave his ex another call and showed her photos of the dress, which was in complete tatters. After seeing it hacked apart, she ultimately agreed with the punishment and spent the day "badgering" their teen over why she would do such a thing.
That's when C finally "cracked," according to the dad.
"[She said] she was mad that Grandma wasn't alive to make her a dress, and that it was 'unfair' my sister got a free beautiful dress as a reminder when my daughter got 'nothing,' despite the many things she was given after the funeral," he wrote. "She tried it on, took it off when the seams popped, and then in anger hacked it apart. If she couldn't have a dress from Grandma, no one could. Her own words."
People were stunned — but maybe not all that surprised — by the admission.
It further confirmed what a lot of them thought: The dad absolutely did the right thing in punishing the teen.
"You're a good parent, and the punishment is perfectly fitting," wrote one person, who thought that C's lack of remorse spoke volumes. "Your daughter's statement that 'She did nothing wrong' shows she still doesn't understand the gravity of what she did. Have you thought about making her help Aunt create the new dress? She needs to understand the labor that goes into creating that which she destroyed."
"I honestly think this is one of the most shocking stories I've read on AITA," another person wrote. "I can't even imagine what was going through the daughter's mind or how devastated OP's sister must be."
Apparently, his sister is still nothing short of devastated – and to add one more layer to this story, the upset and stress caused her Crohn's disease to flare up, which could land her back in the hospital.
Here's hoping C apologized ASAP and that this whole scenario didn't wind up being even worse than it already was.
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