One of the best things about being in a long relationship is getting comfortable enough to be open about bodily functions and the fact that, yes, women have periods. But there might be a point where people are a little too comfortable, or at least one husband sure thinks so!
There are so many times in a marriage where tension is in the air and conflict needs to be resolved. Having patience for each other goes a long way, and respecting boundaries and talking about what those boundaries are certainly helps. And sometimes, conflict needs an outside perspective to find out who needs to bend and compromise. Enter: the internet.
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One husband took to Reddit to look for advice on if he was in the wrong when he got upset with his wife.
The husband (OP) posted to the Reddit channel AITA to get some perspective on an incident that happened. “Yesterday at dinner my wife stood up from the table, stuck her hand down her pants and checked for blood,” he wrote. “Then loudly complained about her period. I asked her to please not do that at the table because I am eating.”
He shares that because of this, the two ended up in an argument.
“We ended up getting in a big fight about it,” he said. “She claims I am making her feel disgusting and having a period in a natural part of being a woman. I should not make her feel bad about it.”
He clarifies that he has been married to her for quite some time so it’s not a new relationship. The two have kids together, but he didn’t see his reaction as judging her for being a woman or for having her period.
“My opinion is that is not what I was doing,” he wrote. “I never censor her and I don’t think I have ever asked her not to talk about her period before. It’s just in that moment it felt inappropriate and over the top.”
He asks the Redditors if he was being a jerk 'for asking my wife not to check her period at the dinner table?'
The comment section blew up pretty quickly with opinions on how this whole situation was handled.
“NTA. Sticking your hands down your pants at the dinner table for any reason is disgusting,” one comment read.
Another person agreed it was inappropriate.
“Yeah, I’m going to fart and stick a finger in my a– to see if I s— myself, after all this is a natural part of being a human,” the person wrote. “Going to ask my wife it that would be acceptable, give me a couple of minutes.”
“Yeah, I’m very open about periods and period positivity and etc. But that’s just inconsiderate and gross,” another person commented.
Other people chimed in and questioned the OP’s wife – as in why check that at the dinner table?
“NTA. As a woman with a period, I find what she did gross af,” someone commented, going on to suggest an alternative. “Go to the bathroom and do that, the dinner table is NOT the place.”
Another person agreed. “[I]’m a woman and the idea of sticking my hands down my pants to look for blood is so beyond disgusting to me. wtf even is that?!”
“I too am baffled by her technique,” another person commented. “I would think the more adjusted approach would be to excuse herself to the bathroom and do what she needs to do in there.”
People took to the comments to share that sometimes they check too, but location matters.
“I have really bad cramps and sometimes getting up to go to the bathroom – especially if I don’t have to go – is a bit too difficult,” one woman wrote, adding “I’ll just run my hands very lightly over my underwear (eta: not in my underwear to be clear, I don’t actually touch my genitals) just to know if I’ve leaked so I can deal with it ASAP before my pants are ruined. Considering laying down is prime leaking position it satisfies my paranoia without going to the bathroom every 10 minutes.”
“Yes I’ve done that too! But again, only when I’m alone and not at the table with other people,” another person wrote.
“i’ve also lightly run my hand over my underwear while in private,” another person confessed. “I don’t know how anyone is comfortable sticking their fingers into period blood like that while still sitting at the dinner table though. even alone!! like, girl. best case scenario, you still have to get up and wash your hands.”
The OP edited his post to offer some additional details.
“This is almost going too well,” he wrote. “I was thinking I might use this post to win the argument but now I’m not sure how she would react to having 50 strangers on the internet unanimously decide that what she did was disgusting.”
Probably not a good idea, OP.
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