They say having a baby changes everything. That includes your body, your patience, your priorities, and even the relationship that may have produced the child in the first place. As new mothers, your hormones are out of whack, your brain has been rewired, you’re sleep-deprived, and you’re now responsible for keeping a tiny human alive. So it’s not surprising that your life changes in some significant ways … including your libido.
Between nursing, cuddling, putting your needs on the backburner, and often being the default parent, tapping into your sexual self might be more challenging than usual. If all of that sounds a little abstract, Maddie Muhs, a mother of two toddlers, provided a concrete formula to help explain “Mom Libido.”
Maddie explained her formula.
With a chalkboard as a visual aid, Maddie sits facing the camera to explain – mostly to men – their chances of having sex with their wives and mothers of their young children on any given night. The formula is the number of hours mom slept last night plus the number of meals she’s eaten, sitting down. Then you multiply that number times the amount of help her partner has provided throughout the day divided by any annoying comments he may have made minus the number of times she was touched by her children.
Then Maddie provided an example, such as if mom got eight hours of sleep, ate three meals sitting down multiplied by her partner doing pickup and bath time but he was annoying on two different occasions subtracted by the 1,000 times her children touched her throughout the day.
Maddie asks her pupils, “Does anyone know what the answer is?” Then answers her own question: “not a f—ing chance,” she says matter of factly before abruptly ending the video.
People had very strong feelings about this.
Most people took the now-viral video for what it was: a humorous take on the demands of motherhood and how that might affect a couple’s sex life. Like most good jokes, this one was rooted in truth. And that truth struck a very real nerve for some people.
First, there were the men with their objections. “You keep giving excuses to avoid intimacy with your husband, then act surprised when he ends up getting it elsewhere,” one person wrote. “Hire help, fix the issue..before you’re shocked to find out he’s been ‘eating out’.”
Maddie had an answer for that: “justifying cheating is a weird take.”
One woman wondered about the unrealistic example.
There were also women who took issue with Maddie’s math. “So your saying you can find time to do all those things that you think are important but a quicky 5 minutes in the bathroom with your hubby wont happen. And yes thats all it would take to keep your hubby happy but theres no chance hey. Divorce inevitable,” one woman wrote.
Another woman had questions about the sample equation. “How did the mom have 8 hours of sleep?” she asked.
Some people totally get it, though.
Thankfully, there was a more present and active father who completely got it. “Yeah, I became a stay at home dad. Safe to say intimacy became an afterthought. Haha. I understand now,” he shared.
One mom suggested that the man himself may be the problem. “I’m a divorced mom who co-parents and gets 3 baby free nights a week. I take Pilates, I feel great and my libido is thru the roof. My point is – consider leaving that man. He’s ruining your life,” she wrote.
People had all types of comments, but perhaps the thousands of likes, views, and shares speak volumes about this relatable content.
