15 years ago, my wife and I had our first daughter, followed 18 months later by a set of twins. Needless to say, it was a circus. At the time, we were both working full-time jobs. Neither of us wanted to put the kids into 9-to-5 daycare, preferring to have a more daily role in their upbringing. Her career had more upside potential, so I stepped back into a part-time role at work and became a stay-at-home dad. I could not be more happy with how that played out as it gave me the chance to be there for pretty much everything the kids have done.
But it also came with a struggle beyond the daily madcap and mayhem that is child rearing.
In hindsight, I probably should have flat-out stopped chasing an income, but the truth is, I like working and it does offer something of an outlet when said mayhem gets overwhelming.
The part-time work began in sales and evolved into freelance writing, which is an ideal side hustle for any parent with a computer and internet connection. It’s been a wildly circuitous journey that has included moves from St. Louis to Europe, back to St. Louis, and currently, New Hampshire. Moving with little kids is enough to put even the most relaxed parent in the nuthouse all by itself.
Factor in attempts to keep an online gig going, and things can get hairy, fast.
But I stuck with it, and though the going was slow, 15 years later, it’s panned out nicely. The kids are now into their teenage years and I’m finding myself with more and more available hours to write. New and unexpected opportunities are presenting themselves on the work front, and I now have the mental bandwidth to give each one thoughtful consideration.
Would I recommend this approach to other parents?
Hard to say. Certainly I would have been less mentally exhausted over the years had my sole “job” been raising the kids as opposed to tacking on the workload of a so-called real job. But having a hobby that made me happy along the way was undoubtedly a good thing.
I’d argue that the most important thing to keep in mind during the child-rearing years is trying to stay present for the kids. Working a side gig naturally takes your attention and, per Murphy’s Law, that attention grab will always happen at the same time a kiddo requires your focus.
I wish I could say I was always 100% in the moment with the kids from Day 1, but come on, this isn’t Leave It To Beaver. I can say I had the opportunity to be on-site with them every step of the way, which I am super thankful for. So if you’re one of those parents weighing the pros and cons of working a side hustle, while simultaneously operating as the primary caretaker, go for it, but don’t lose sight of what’s more important while you’re at it.
