Being a part of a blended family isn’t always easy, especially when you’re a stepparent trying to figure out what your role is going to look like for your spouse’s kids. Lines can often get blurry when it comes to figuring out when you need to step in to discipline the kids or if you even should if they don’t seem receptive to it. This is where a parenting style such as “nacho parenting” can come into play. One individual took to Reddit for some advice when it comes to a snide comment from their spouse that’s in direct relation to their parenting — or lack thereof — and how they should even respond to a spouse who says they feel like a “single parent,” even after they’ve remarried.
Should being a nacho parent immediately equal out to your spouse feeling like a single parent?
You know things are likely a bit off when you feel like you need the opinions of strangers when it comes to clarifying how to move forward in your relationship. A frustrated individual took to Reddit to ask the masses if their spouse has ever “hit them” with something that sounds at all similar to “I still feel like a single parent even though now I’m married again.” Ouch.
This individual explained that they acts as “nacho” parent, “aside from occasionally playing games and such.” In case you’re unfamiliar, ChoosingTherapy.com describes nacho parenting as “a parenting style practiced by blended families where the biological parent takes responsibility for disciplining their child and their partner takes a secondary role.”
Basically, being a nacho parent can often help ease some of that tension that can pop up, especially as kids grow older, when they’re only looking to their biological parent for discipline and boundaries and not their stepparent.
The redditor notes that their family does a “week on week off schedule,” and they weren’t even sure how to respond to this kind of claim from their partner. Should someone who gets remarried feel like a single parent if their partner has adopted a nacho parenting strategy? Is it expecting entirely too much of someone? This Reddit thread reveals some controversial opinions!
Some people believe they are technically still a ‘single parent’ even when they remarry.
Some people have no qualms about handling conflict within a marriage, including the individual on this Reddit thread who wrote, “Tell him he IS a single parent. When he chose to separate from his ex, he signed up to be a single parent. Marrying you created a wife and life partner, not another parenting partner. His parenting partner is his ex. If he wanted a nuclear family, he needed to stay with his ex.”
This stance is truly taking things to a level that might feel very uncomfortable to talk through, but it does make sense for a lot of families.
Another person couldn’t agree more with this perspective. “This. And it’s something many single parents don’t realize: Once you separate from the other bio parent, you’re forever a single parent of those kids. Period, dot,” the Redditor commented.
Again, there’s really no mistaking where this person stands.
Perhaps there’s something to be said about keeping things as crystal clear as possible when it comes to parenting expectations, because open communication and being honest can definitely help navigate these types of situations.
Does sexism come into play when it comes to nacho parenting and societal expectations?
Several people in this Reddit thread find making your partner feel guilty for not parenting your kids to be incredibly sexist. One individual wrote, “Wow… that comment is loaded with entitlement and expectation.”
We actually agree with that because even though they didn’t expand on it, their comment about being a single parent really did say a lot.
Another commenter couldn’t help but add a little bit of math to this equation by stating, “Sounds pretty misogynistic, doesn’t it? Women in his life are supposed to pick up 75%+ of the parenting and he gets to coast on less?”
To be fair, there’s no way to be sure whether this person is a man or woman, but there’s quite a few people who seem to think it’s a man, and that says a lot!
