To the mom about to give birth, you’re probably feeling a little nervous about what lies ahead.
Months ago, you were probably finalizing your birth plan, carefully double-checking your hospital bag to be sure you didn’t forget anything, and dreaming of the moment that you would finally get to hold your little one in your arms.
But you probably never expected that moment to include a face mask.
Giving birth in today’s landscape of COVID-19 has likely completely changed everything you thought you knew about becoming a parent. Who could have known that your childbirth prep classes should have mentioned what to do in the face of a global pandemic? If you’re feeling anxious, worried, or have no idea what to expect when you give birth, frankly, you have every right to feel all the feels. This Mother’s Day might look a little different, but you are not alone.
Just like you will come to rely on the experiences and advice of other moms who have come before you on so many things in parenting, take it from these moms who have been through exactly what you’re about to go through — giving birth in the midst of COVID-19.
Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t
Communicate your fears honestly
Schwarb encourages all moms feeling anxious right now to communicate those fears as soon as possible. “Talk to your partner and doctors about things bothering you,” she advises.
The second-time mom-to-be found it helpful to be proactive in her fears by talking to her OB about her anxieties about delivery, seeing a counselor, and doing a run-through with the hospital on what to expect, such as if her partner could still be present. She also made sure to talk to her husband whenever she was feeling anxious so he knew where her head was at. “Give yourself grace for multiple meltdowns,” she adds. “It happens.”
Prep as much as you need to
If preparation is key for you to stay calm, do you what you need to do to feel safer. Schwarb, for instance, packed as little as possible to take with her to minimize exposure, created a calendar of availability, and had trusted people care for their other child. She kept in close contact with them about their exposure (went from 5 to 2 people) and sent an email to all family/friends letting them know that no visitors would be allowed but that they would be creating a Google photo album and to scheduling video calls to “meet” the new addition.
Utilize resources
Even though it’s a pandemic, your health care team won’t leave you high and dry — you’ll still be able to have access to the resources you need. Schwarb, for example, says she’s had “great success” with breastfeeding support via video calls, and her pediatrician has scheduled all healthy and newborn appointments first thing in the morning while also practicing social distancing.
Try to embrace the no-visitors silver lining
For some moms, quarantine is actually a unique experience that has allowed them to truly bond as a family, without any interruptions from visitors whatsoever. If the thought of just being at home with your own little family sounds great to you, embrace that without any guilt.
Turn off the news
Daysha, a second-time mom in Michigan, echoes the sentiment to just stay away from the news while you’re near delivery and immediately after. “I stopped the day after we had my daughter — I got moved to the recovery room and turned on the TV to CNN’s headline of ‘First Infant Death from Covid-19’ as I’m holding on to our less-than-24-hours-old little girl!”
Admit it’s not fair
Pretending all is sunshine and roses is not reality. Daysha admits that she cried when her baby’s grandparents couldn’t hold her. “It’s not fair her grandparents, friends, and family don’t get to love on her and feel her amazing energy her tiny little body radiates — instead they look at her though the glass,” she says.
