20 Times Princess Diana Broke Royal Protocol

When 19-year-old Lady Diana Spencer was introduced to the world as the young woman who would be queen one day, she looked every inch like a shy kid in love with a prince. But she quickly showed everyone that she had a mind of her own, and had no problem breaking a few royal rules at work, as well as in her personal life.  

Princess Diana was the original royal rebel and she showed it in the way she approached her work and treated regular people while on official outings, the way she parented Princes William and Harry, the way she dressed, and the things that she said. Before she came along, the royals were seen as unapproachable and out of touch. By the time Diana died, she changed the monarchy forever by forcing it to be more open and responsive — and it was all due to her willingness to go against the grain.

During a TV interview, Diana talked about why the royal establishment didn't see her as being fit to be queen "Because I do things differently, because I don't go by a rule book, because I lead from the heart, not the head, and albeit that's got me into trouble in my work, I understand that,” Diana said. "But someone's got to go out there and love people and show it."

So many of the things that royals, like Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle, Harry, and William, do and are beloved for now are because Diana paved the way — whether it's talking openly about mental health, working closely with members of the public, or raising their kids to be aware of life outside the palace walls.

Diana stepped onto the royal scene and changed traditions that were centuries old. Along the way, she angered everyone — from Queen Elizabeth to the conservative press, and aristocratic class that she came from — but she gained a massive following among regular people, not because she was rebelling for the fun of it, but because she understood that in order to be relevant, the royal family had to offer something other than a polite wave from a distant balcony. 

Here are 20 ways that Diana broke the royal rules.

Working Before Getting Married

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Diana broke the mold right from the start. Although she was the daughter of an earl, and grew up on a vast country estate, Diana had a job — which was rare for a female aristocrat and unprecedented for a royal bride. She worked as an aide in a kindergarten school in London, which makes sense as Diana had a love for kids that was evident throughout her life.

Picking Out Her Own Engagement Ring

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It was tradition for royal engagements that the man — whether he was a commoner marrying into the family, or a prince — not only choose the engagement ring, but design it himself. For whatever reason, that didn't happen in Diana and Charles' case, though we suspect that it had something to do with the fact that he was in love with someone else. Diana was more than game, though, and happily chose the $37,000 ring right out of a luxury jeweler's catalog. It became the world's most famous bauble.

Taking the Word 'Obey' Out of Her Wedding Vows

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Royal brides had promised to "love, honor, and obey" their husbands for more than 300 years in their wedding vows, even though the Church of England itself had updated the vows. And then Diana came along. She and — credit where credit is due — Prince Charles spoke to the Church of England's archbishop and changed the vows to ''love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health.''

Every royal bride ever since, with the exception of Sarah Ferguson, has followed the example.

Giving Birth in a Hospital, With No Meds

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Another milestone, another royal tradition chucked aside. When Princess Diana gave birth to Prince William at the Lindo Wing of St. Mary's Hospital, he became the first royal baby EVER born in a hospital. Diana also opted for natural labor, which had fallen out of favor with royal women ever since Queen Victoria sniffed chloroform for her last three births. Queen Elizabeth II herself went with twilight sleep, enabling her to sleep for the entirety of labor and have no memories of it. 

Diana? 

She gave birth to William standing up.

Sending Her Kids to a School

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While royal kids were typically educated at home either entirely (the queen) or partially (Charles and his siblings), Diana sent her kids to a private school from the beginning. William and Harry became the first to be educated entirely in schools outside the palace walls, and it's no surprise given that Diana worked as a teacher's aide and believed in her boys living as regular a life as possible.

Taking the Kids on Official Trips Abroad

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When Queen Elizabeth was young, she would often travel abroad — sometimes for months at a time  — but never took the kids, who were left with their grandmother and nannies. (No judgment.) Travel back then was by boat and considerably less safe than travel today. It was also thought to be a bad idea for the monarch and her heir to travel together in case they both died, leaving the next in line basically unprepared to take over. Once again, Diana broke from royal tradition, taking William along on her and Charles' 45-day official trip to Australia, when William was just 9 months old. He became the first royal baby to travel on an official trip.

Shaking Hands With AIDS Patients

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Diana's greatest gift as a working royal was her empathy and willingness to connect with people who were hurting. One of the earliest examples was the moment in 1987, when Diana shook hands with an AIDS patient at a time when there was a lot of fear and ignorance about the disease. (The above picture shows her repeating the gesture in Brazil.) It was a deliberate and hugely generous act that changed many people's perspectives and brought much-needed attention to the cause.

Walking Through a Minefield

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Diana changed the way royals work, even after leaving the royal family following her divorce. In January 1997, Diana made headlines when she walked through a minefield in Angola that had been cleared. She made international headlines and a huge impact on the eventual push to have the use of landmines banned globally. Though Diana was criticized by British lawmakers, when Harry returned to the site years later, no one in the royal family stopped him.

Talking About Her Eating Disorder & Mental Health

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Diana developed bulimia after finding out that Charles was having an affair with Camilla Parker Bowles, coping with the pressures of the public life through physical self harm. She later talked about her battle with unhealthy coping mechanisms, as well as postpartum depression in her infamous tell-all TV interview and in speeches afterward. It was a shocking first for a royal.

Talking to the Press About Her Marriage & Affair

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About that infamous TV interview … It was in 1995, just a year before Diana and Charles divorced. They'd been living separate lives, and Diana was more and more desperate for a resolution. In the interview, she gave details about her marriage, her own affair with James Hewitt, and gave her most famous quote when asked about Charles' affair with Camilla: "There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." 

Viewers and the royal family were shocked, and the move — though deeply honest — pretty much damaged her relationship with the royals for good. It goes without saying that the royals, especially the Queen, never airs business in public.

Rasing William & Harry to Understand Regular Life

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Diana thought that just because her kids were born into privilege, and one of them was destined to sit on a throne, didn't mean they should be shut away behind palace doors. Quite the opposite. She took them to theme parks, made them wait their turn in line at McDonald's, and opened their eyes to real life and people in need by taking them to a homeless shelter and other places.

Wearing Black

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By and large, royals only wear black to funerals. Black is, after all, the only color that Queen Victoria wore for decades after her husband died, and it had a lasting impact on royal fashion. But apparently, no one told a young, recently engaged Diana as she wore a stunning, strapless black gown to her first official outing with Prince Charles. It was a shocking moment for royal watchers, and though Diana didn't often wear black, she did throughout her life — most memorably when she danced with John Travolta in an off-the-shoulder velvet gown at the White House.

Being a Hands-On Mom

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While it was normal for royal mothers to parent from a distance, and employ nannies, governesses, and others to do most of the work, Diana never wanted to be that type of parent. She was reportedly the first royal to breastfeed her kids, played with William and Harry, traveled with them, and arranged her work schedule around their needs. Years later, the impact of her choice is obvious: Her son, William, married a woman, Kate Middleton (obvs), who shares Diana's parenting strategy.

Wearing Pants

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Royal women, from the time they are little girls, basically wear dresses, and it's a tradition that persists to this day. (Just look at Princess Charlotte's wardrobe.) Though the Queen and Princess Anne wear pants to ride horses, we don't see them doing so while on an official visit. Diana was the first to step out in pants on a regular basis, like on this visit to the Spanish royal family and theater outings.

Unafraid to Talk to People at Eye Level

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Unlike the Queen and other royals — who typically would wave at well-wishers from a distance — Diana got up close and personal in ways that had never been seen before, including crouching down to talk to the elderly, kids, and people in wheelchairs. It was a way to acknowledge them as equals and make them feel like they were more than a photo opportunity.

Skipping Gloves & Hats

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It makes sense that a person who was as naturally warm and people-friendly as Diana was would do as much as possible to close the gap between the royals and other people. Though it was royal custom to wear gloves to greet and shake hands with crowds (and who could blame them — people can be gross!), Diana never did so. Instead, she opted for a more informal strategy, and it helped her win over millions of admirers. Diana also quit wearing hats a few years after her wedding, saying, "You can't cuddle a child in a hat." 

Aww.

Rocking Red Nail Polish

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Queen Elizabeth's preference for nude-colored nail polish, which she likes other royal ladies to follow, is well known by now, and it's been in place for decades. But Diana wore red several times in public — for both daytime and evening engagements. It could be, in fact, that the no red nail polish rule was put in place because of Diana. We think the polish looked beautiful and tasteful.

Sometimes Eating With Staff

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Anyone who's seen the The Crown or Downton Abbey knows that when a royal — especially the Queen — comes downstairs to the kitchen, everyone stops what they're doing and bows. But her former chef said that Diana hated that sort of formality during her years at Kensington Palace. She often ate in the kitchen and chatted with staff — or just popped in to make herself coffee and offer some to the workers. 

"The rest of the royals would never do that," Darren McGrady, who was a chef for Diana, said.

Secretly Collaborating on a Tell-All

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In one of Diana's most rule-breaking moves, she authorized her friends to collaborate with Andrew Morton on his 1992 book, Diana: Her True Story, and she contributed, too. (She admitted it in her 1995 TV interview.) The reason? Her marriage was unraveling, and the sordid details of her and Charles' affairs were coming to light … and she felt "desperate."

"I was at the end of my tether," she told journalist Martin Bashir. "I was so fed up with being seen as someone who was a basket case, because I am a very strong person, and I know that causes complications in the system that I live in." The royal family — who pretty much lives by the edict "never complain, never explain" — was livid, but like Harry and Meghan decades later, Diana felt she had no choice but to defend herself.

Diana's Death Changed the Monarchy

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During "Diana Week," the time immediately after her death came to be known, the monarchy changed forever. The Queen — who was seen as out of touch with her people for failing to "show her face" in London for an entire week — relented and met with crowds gathered outside Kensington Palace. She addressed the grieving nation, gave Diana a state funeral, bowed to her coffin as it rolled by Buckingham Palace, and sat in Westminster Abbey as Diana's brother gave a eulogy that openly critiqued the monarchy. Afterward, royal family worked to become more approachable and move forward with the times.