The "People's Princess" earned her nickname for a reason: She was one of if not the most compassionate and relatable members of the royal family ever known to the British people. Her kind-heartedness, honesty, philanthropic ideals, and so many aspects of her personality made her one of the most beloved figures in world history — and someone the public was incurably curious about. Diana, Princess of Wales, was royalty, she was glamorous, and she lived what many thought to be a charmed life. But as evidenced by her tragic death at just 36 years old, that life wasn't always as wonderful as it seemed from the outside.
Diana, who often appeared coy, never quite felt like herself after marrying Prince Charles and being named Princess of Wales. She hid major aspects of her private life — most notably, her husband's ongoing affair with another woman — for many years, and in retrospect, we can see that her shy smile and mischievous eyes may have been used to cover up her true feelings.
The fact that Diana seemed to continually question royal protocol and often went completely against them — especially when it came to raising her children — should have clued us all in to the fact that Princess Diana wasn't quite content with her life long before her divorce from Prince Charles. Some of what she revealed in interviews over the years — in particular, an interview with the BBC's Martin Bashir less than two years before she died — gives us some clear insight into the things she struggled with the most as a royal, and even perhaps why her sons Prince William and Prince Harry seem to be both subtly and overtly carving their own paths.
Here are 18 times Princess Diana spoke out about being a royal and how difficult it was.
Age Matters
It is hard to imagine taking on such a big life at such a young age. Most people are brimming with hope and totally green at 19 years old, even when there's not the thrill of becoming a princess to consider. Prince Charles was 12 years older than Lady Diana Spencer when they wed, and had obviously grown up with all the pressures of being a royal — so it's no real surprise she put so much confidence in him.
Daunting From the Start
"At the age of 19, you always think you're prepared for everything, and you think you have the knowledge of what's coming ahead. But although I was daunted at the prospect at the time, I felt I had the support of my husband-to-be," Diana told Martin Bashir when asked if she believed she was ready for royal life at the time of her marriage.
Wanting Her Sons to Wait to Get Married
Diana may have realized that she wasn't ready to marry at 19 at some point down the line. In her will, she left her wedding dress to both of her sons, but they were not to receive it until Prince Harry's 30th birthday. That means that both men were over 30 when they received the meaningful inheritance. It could be a coincidence that neither married before 30, and that Kate Middleton was less than a year from her 30th when she and William wed, and Meghan Markle was well past 30 when she married Prince Harry.
Losing Herself
"The day I walked down the aisle at St. Paul's Cathedral, I felt that my personality was taken away from me, and I was taken over by the royal machine," Diana once said in an interview, according to E! News. Many of the choices she made, both during her marriage and once she separated from Prince Charles in 1992, support her statement. Diana definitely came out of her shell once she was no longer coupled with Charles.
Unprecedented Experience
Diana became princess during a media boom, which made her experience much different from anything the royal family had ever known. People across the world had televisions in their homes and newspapers were printed daily — sometimes multiples times per day — and Diana's face was all over both. "My husband and I, we were told when we got engaged that the media would go quietly, and it didn't; and then when we were married they said it would go quietly and it didn't; and then it started to focus very much on me," Diana said in the BBC interview.
Feeling 'Isolated'
"And so it was, it was isolating, but it was also a situation where you couldn't indulge in feeling sorry for yourself: you had to either sink or swim. And you had to learn that very fast," Diana continued. In fact, Princess Diana used the word "isolating" more than once in the interview, making it clear how she felt during that time of her life.
Trying to Grasp Her Celebrity
While Diana was brought up in a privileged family, she was not royalty until she married Prince Charles. When asked how she handled going from Lady Diana Spencer to the most photographed woman in the world she responded: "Well, it took a long time to understand why people were so interested in me, but I assumed it was because my husband had done a lot of wonderful work leading up to our marriage and our relationship."
'You See Yourself as a Product That Sits on a Shelf'
Eventually, Princess Di realized that it wasn't just her husband, but that she herself held value to the media, and as a member of the royal family, was being monetized. If Diana was on the cover of a newspaper or magazine, it sold, so publications continued to seek her. She said during the BBC interview, "during the years you see yourself as a product that sits on a shelf and sells well, and people make a lot of money out of you."
Work Made It Worth It
Had Diana not married into the royal family, her reach as a humanitarian would not have gone nearly as far, and it seems she realized that although her marriage failed, it enabled her to help many more people than she otherwise would have. "Nothing brings me more happiness than trying to help the most vulnerable people in society," she told Martin Bashir.
Getting William & Harry Involved
"It is a good and essential part of my life, a kind of destiny," Diana said of her work during the BBC interview. In fact, it was so important to her, that Diana even made sure that her children were regularly involved in giving back from an early age. Prince William revealed on Instagram that his mother took him to volunteer at a resource center for the homeless and underprivileged that he is still involved with, more than two decades later.
'I Don't See Myself Being the Queen of This Country'
"I'd like to be the queen of people's heart, in people's hearts, but I don't see myself being the queen of this country," Princess Di said. "I don't think many people will want me to be queen," she continued in the BBC interview, which aired while she was already separated from Prince Charles though not yet divorced.
But there's more…
Being a 'Non-Starter'
Princess Diana continued, telling Martin Bashir, "Actually, when I say many people, I mean the establishment that I married into, because they have decided that I'm a non-starter." Notice how she called the royals an establishment, not a family? Talk about laying it all out there. To be fair, though, at this point, both Charles and Diana had admitted to having ongoing affairs during their marriage.
Feeling 'Compelled to Perform'
Princess Diana earned her place in people's hearts because of her nature, and because she was a different kind of princess, one who truly cared about people.
… but she was still putting on a show.
"I felt compelled to perform," she said in the BBC interview. "I was compelled to go out and do my engagements and not let people down and support them and love them."
The Desire To Help Others Was Fuel
Even if there were times the Princess of Wales was putting on a brave face and showing up simply because she had to, her heart was in the right place. Diana performed so well, because she truly desired to help people and to bring joy and love to others. (If that's not a good reason to pull up the big girl panties and get on with the show, we don't know what is.) "And in a way being out in public they supported me, although they weren't aware just how much healing they were giving me, and it carried me through," she said.
Intense Loneliness
"We struggled a bit with it. It was very difficult," Diana said to Martin Bashir, referring to working with her husband on official duties and all of the media attention they got. "And then my husband decided that we do separate engagements, which was a bit sad for me, because I quite liked the company," she continued. It sure sounds like Diana was intensely lonely, especially during the early years.
Fulfillment Found
Princess Diana ultimately did not find fulfillment in her marriage — which was the goal of many women who married around the time that she did — but she knew she could find it elsewhere. "You know, people think that at the end of the day a man is the only answer," she said to Martin Bashir. "Actually, a fulfilling job is better for me," she explained with a chuckle.
Princess Diana's Legacy Lives On
While most senior members of the royal family hold "patronages" or charities to which they are formally committed, Diana's sons, William and Harry — along with their spouses — are particularly involved and hands-on with a number of causes, ranging from mental health and homelessness, to animal conservation, and youth mentoring. They are certainly working hard to ensure their mother's legacy lives on.
Harry Seems to Have Learned From Her Experience
Diana's youngest son, Prince Harry, has not been shy about his disdain for the British media. It's gone so far that a few months after stepping down from their duties as senior royals, he and his wife, Meghan Markle, announced that they would completely cut ties with four major UK media outlets, having "zero engagement" with them.
