AJ McLean is looking at his separation as a positive instead of a negative. The Backstreet Boys singer and his wife Rochelle DeAnna McLean announced their separation earlier this year, but several months later, it sounds like they are committed as ever to fighting for their marriage. In a new interview, AJ revealed that both he and his wife are doing the work to strengthen their marriage. They are focusing on themselves as individuals for the sake of their relationship and their children.
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AJ opened up about how their temporary separation is going.
"We still live separately, but we are in couple’s therapy, we are in individual therapy," he told Cheryl Burke on her Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans podcast.
He also told the Dancing With the Stars pro that their relationship is in a better place than it has ever been. "We talk every day, we are spending more time together. We just have to rebuild something that was never there from the beginning," he said.
The couple came into their relationship with a lot of 'trauma.'
AJ met his wife in 2008, and they dated for a couple of years before getting married in 2011. "I came with baggage, she came with baggage, she had trauma, I had trauma. I wasn’t sober or ready to get sober. She was dealing with her own s—," he admitted.
"It was just a constant push-pull: She would sweep her feelings under the rug or I would dive into a bottle."
AJ revealed the type of work he's had to do to become a better partner.
After spending time at an intensive outpatient mental health program in Arizona, AJ realized that he needed to reevaluate the way he communicated. He also credited the program with giving him a better sense of empathy.
"Normally I would twist it and make it about me. Not anymore," he explained. "It’s taken this time apart for us to really do some serious growing and understanding and listening."
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AJ and Rochelle announced their separation this past spring.
AJ and his wife announced their separation in March of this year after 11 years of marriage. Their joint statement read: "Marriage is hard, but worth it. We have mutually decided to separate temporarily to work on ourselves, and on our marriage with the hope of building a stronger future. The plan is to come back together and continue to nurture our love for one another and our family. We ask for respect and privacy at this time."
"Separation is hard enough without the commentary, please be kind and remember there are children involved," they stated, referring to their daughters Lyric and Elliot.
AJ credits much of his change to being sober for the last two years.
AJ has never shied away from talking about his struggles. "I’ve battled self-esteem issues my entire life, and I’ve learned a lot. My sobriety is the most solid it’s ever been," he told People this summer.
"I'm in the best shape of my life, both mentally, physically, spiritually. I'm actually really happy and I love it, and I don't want to lose it. I want to continue to keep growing, growing with my wife and my kids and myself."
