It wasn’t all that long ago that we were still following along with Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard on Counting On, but a lot has changed in just a couple of years. Since they quit the show and walked away from reality TV altogether, so much has changed — and we’ve learned that they consciously decided to spend less time with Jill’s parents. Basically, their lives sounded pretty miserable when they were still part of the Duggar fold.
In the time since Jill and Derick walked away, they’ve been open about their reasons, whether they’re answering fans questions on social media or in a YouTube video or even in a big, explosive magazine interview. We can’t blame them for wanting to make it clear why they broke free, but it’s pretty crystal that Jim Bob and Michelle don’t appreciate all the negative publicity that their daughter and her husband are bringing their family — and as far as we can tell, the drama is just now beginning to unfold.
Read on for everything Jill and Derick have said about their feud with the Duggars so far. It’s great to see that Jill’s being able to live life on her own terms, even if her relationship with her family has become even more complicated in the process.
Jill & Derick Weren't Paid for 'Counting On'
One of the biggest points of contention between the Duggars and the Dillards seems to be what was going on behind the scenes on Counting On. According to what Derick first told fans on Instagram in late 2019, Jill and Derick were under the impression that no one got paid to do the show, with TLC instead footing the bill for their expenses. But that wasn’t true, and when they found out Jill’s dad lied to them, it sounds like it wasn’t pretty.
Being on the Show Was Seriously Detrimental to Them Both
In December 2019, a fan mentioned to Derick on Twitter that they’d like to see him and Jill on Counting On again. His response? No way, because of how bad the experience had been for them both.
“The conditions we were filming under took us to the brink of sanity and could have easily destroyed our lives if we had continued that trajectory,” he wrote.
Lawyering Up
Speaking of their time on the show, it seems like Jill had to get super serious to get the money she was owed. According to what she said in an October 2020 YouTube Q&A, that even meant enlisting the help of a lawyer.
“We weren’t paid until we were really pressing about it, and we ended up getting an attorney involved,” she said, adding that in the end, her payout was only equivalent to “a little more than minimum wage” for the time spent filming over the years.
Jeffrey Epstein Comparisons
In a comment Derick made on a post about Counting On on the TLC Instagram account, he seemed to compare Jim Bob to convicted felon Jeffrey Epstein because of how money hungry he was.
“We have to break this culture, that cares more about money and ratings than protecting the most vulnerable,” he wrote. “Jeff Epstein already showed us that if you have enough money, power, and influence, you can get away with anything. Sadly, it doesn’t stop with him. There are many more stories in this world that are not too different, existing in a culture where it can still thrive.”
Jim Bob's Level of Control
In July 2020, Derick was back at it on Instagram again, telling fans about how controlling his father-in-law is.
“He will attack the victims if they threaten his show,” Derick wrote in one comment. “We were humiliated and threatened when we first tried not to film. Now it’s not dependent on us anymore to keep the show going because more kids got married, so we quit.”
Derick Disagrees With the Duggars
In a tell-all interview with a YouTube channel called Without a Crystal Ball from March 2020, Derick revealed that he doesn’t exactly fall in line with the Duggars’ beliefs about the way that people — women in particular — should behave.
“I don’t think it’s wrong for girls to wear pants, get piercings, or have short hair,” he said at the time. “I will encourage my kids, girls or boys, to identify their passions and pursue them, even if that requires higher education.”
Going to Therapy
In the same interview, Derick also mentioned that he and Jill are in therapy after all they’ve been through, adding that their break from the Duggars was such a healthy departure from the behavior they’d been locked in when they were close with Jill’s family.
“There’s definitely been some ups and downs over the past several years, but we’ve been seeing a licensed counselor, which has helped a lot,” he said.
Being Kept Away From Siblings
This is definitely one of the saddest parts of the feud — Jill doesn’t seem to be allowed to see her younger siblings who still live in Jim Bob and Michelle’s house. While talking to fans, Derick mentioned that he and Jill aren’t allowed in her parents’ home if Jim Bob or Michelle aren’t there, which makes it hard to see her siblings.
Derick Called Michelle a Bad Mom
In a blog post that Derick had written about what it means to be a “godly mother,” he described what makes one and what doesn’t … and what doesn’t seemed to very pointedly apply to Michelle.
“Different people have their ideas about what a mom should look like,” he wrote. “Some walk the walk and talk the talk but are the farthest from what a Christian mother is called to be. A godly mother is not recognized by donning skirts, having long hair, or tattoo-free skin.”
The Bombshell Interview
In an interview with People in October 2020, Jill and Derick did not hold back when it came to discussing their family feud openly, and at that point, Jill even admitted that it didn’t go well when she told her fam she was leaving the show.
She said: “It didn’t go over very well with anyone. By that point we’d had enough. We knew we had to pull out completely to reevaluate and get our bearings.”
Hope for the Future
Even though things between the Duggars and the Dillards aren’t ideal right now, Jill still has hope that things will get better between them down the road. In the same interview, she said: “I never expected this to happen or for it to get to this point. But I’m realizing I can’t put a timeline on healing. I love my family and they love me. I really just have to follow God’s lead and take it one day at a time.”
Jim Bob & Michelle Speak Out
Jim Bob and Michelle have spoken out about the feud exactly once: In a comment to People when the outlet’s interview with Jill was published.
At the time, they said: “Every family has differences of opinion and perspective at times, but families work things out. We all love Jill, Derick, and their boys very much. It is our prayer that our relationship is healed and fully restored quickly!”
Worried About Backlash
In a YouTube video she shared in September 2020, Jill admitted that she’d held off on doing things she loves now, like wearing pants and getting a nose ring, because she was afraid of what her family might say and she wanted to avoid confrontation.
“I think that some of the decisions that we’ve made, like, I probably, even if I liked something before, maybe wouldn’t have done it because of maybe some of the backlash that I would get or something from people close to me or something,” she said.
Family Disagreements
In the same video, Jill also admitted that her family isn’t necessarily supportive of all of the choices she’s made since she’s started breaking free from the Duggar lifestyle — and that includes her siblings.
“I feel like some of my siblings are probably more like have something to say about it than others,” she admitted. “Some of them are more like, ‘Hey, I’m happy for whatever y’all are deciding. I’m just glad that y’all are making decisions together as a couple.’ … Not all of them are cool with it, but some of them are more cool with it than others.”
Setting Boundaries
Jill also admitted that she’s working on being more OK with other people not being OK with her decisions — and it sounds like she’s mostly talking about the Duggars when she says that.
“I think we’ve grown a lot as a couple, and I’m OK with people not being okay with it,” Jill said at the time. “Sometimes it’s a good thing. I’m very much a people pleaser, so not doing something because I was afraid of what other people would think. Or keeping my opinion quiet because I don’t want to have to worry about conflict.”
