Even though Jennette McCurdy’s striking memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, came out almost a year ago, she isn’t done sharing disturbing stories about her life with her late mother. In an interview on the Louis Theroux Podcast, McCurdy revealed that her mother showered her and gave her vaginal and breast exams until she was 18 years old.
Jennette, who is now 31, revealed that her mom, Debra McCurdy, would stand in the shower fully clothed, “shampooing and conditioning” the young girl’s hair and washing her body.
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Her mother claimed she was checking for cancer.
According to Jennette, "She would give me breast and vaginal exams in the shower and said that she was checking for lumps — she was just checking for cancer."
Naturally, this didn’t sit well with her. She said the acts made her feel "uncomfortable" and "violated." Of course she had asked for autonomy, but her request didn’t go well.
"I knew I didn’t want it, but the one time I had attempted to even say, 'Hey, do you think I could shower myself?' she flew into hysterics and it just became clear to me, I can’t ever try to shower myself again," she said.
Debra McCurdy had a fear of her daughter having cancer after she was diagnosed with it herself.
The only reason they stopped is because Jennette started touring and her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Her mother’s cancer diagnosis is the thing that ultimately gave her freedom, she explained.
"She physically could not be with me, and that was I think the only reason why I was able to finally start showering myself," she said.
Jennette tried to rationalize her mother’s actions, attributing them to her lack of "boundaries," along with the fact that she had a "fear" of her daughter growing up.
Jennette was also forced to shower with her older brother.
During an interview on Red Table Talk to promote her book, she read an excerpt revealing that her mom made her shower with one of her older brothers until he was 16 and she was 11.
"I get really embarrassed when she showers us together. I can tell he does too. … Scotty asked if he could shower himself [on his] own once. Mom sobbed and said she didn’t want him to grow up so he never asked again after that," she shared.
Despite this, Jennette explained that she and her siblings have a "beautiful bond" because of the trauma they experienced at the hands of their mother.
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Her mom also encouraged her to restrict her food intake.
Jennette has also been candid about the role her mother played in her suffering from various eating disorders for much of her childhood and early 20s. After she started developing breasts, her mother started forcing her to restrict calories.
Her mother saw Jennette’s breast development as a sign of impending adulthood.
"And it had always been really clear to me that my mom did not want me to grow up, not just for acting, but it also felt like her worth was tied up in me being young," she said on the podcast. "With me being young, she had something to do. She felt good."
Her mother may have been suffering from undiagnosed mental illness.
On the podcast, Jennette explained that she "idolized" her mother growing up, which allowed her to overlook a lot of the abusive behavior.
"I just kind of kept clinging to, 'Oh, well Mom’s doing this because it’s what’s best for me,'" she explained. Jennette also revealed that she quit working with a therapist who suggested that her mother’s behavior was abusive.
When asked about the state of her mother’s mental health before she died in 2013, Jennette said that based on what she had explained to her therapists, her mother could have had a combination of narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder.
