In July 2024, Ashanti and Nelly welcomed a baby boy named Kareem Kenkaide Haynes. But after hearing the couple talk about their parenting dynamic, people are feeling sorry for Ashanti, 44. A conversation on their new reality TV series, Nelly & Ashanti: We Belong Together, has made it clear that Nelly is pretty uninvolved in parenting.
Nelly suggested he won’t be involved until their child can walk and talk.
The couple’s baby boy is about to celebrate his first birthday – which means Nelly is still taking an extremely hands-off approach to being a dad. During a flashback scene on Nelly & Ashanti: We Belong Together, the rapper, 50, told his friends that he won’t be involved until KK starts talking and walking.
“Until he can say, ‘I’m hungry,’ until he can say, ‘I need to use the bathroom,’ it’s gonna be a lot in your lap,” Nelly recalled telling Ashanti at one point, per People. “But as soon as he start walking, I told her I said, ‘Enjoy.’ Cause as soon as he get to walking and talking, he with the crew.”
‘It’s all you,’ he told Ashanti.
On the same episode, Nelly and Ashanti spoke about how Nelly’s tour would affect their child. Although Ashanti seemed concerned about Nelly being away, the rapper suggested that things wouldn’t be all that different.
“I’m split about his tour,” Ashanti said on the show. “My first response is I’m super happy for him for putting it together. The wife and mommy side of me is like, ‘F—!’ Nah, the wife side of me and mommy side of me is a little sad. You know, Daddy’s gonna be gone for a long time.”
When Ashanti expressed concerns about her partner’s upcoming tour, he assured her that she’d be able to take care of things on her own – presumably because she already does, even when he’s there.
“Well, listen, it’s all you. I ain’t going to even lie,” Nelly told her. “You know, I ain’t got nothing for him.” Ashanti seemed to agree, responding with, “Absolutely not. I know.”
The rapper asked if people actually get up at night when their babies cry.
Making the unequal division of labor even more obvious, Nelly admitted that he doesn’t get up during the night when his child’s crying. He even questioned if people actually get up when their babies cry.
“I’m trying to understand how is it that you sleep through when he starts crying?” Ashanti asked Nelly during another conversation on the show. In response, Nelly said, “Do y’all really be up at night? I heard about it.”
Ashanti then said, “You know what? It’s absolutely ridiculous that you’ll still be dead sleep and he’ll be mad loud.”
Nelly went on to say that he truly can’t hear his child crying during the night, which he described as a “gift” that he’s been “blessed with.”
“No,” Ashanti responded. “That means get up. It’s your turn to change him.” Nelly reminded his wife that he won’t change any diapers.
People were disgusted by Nelly’s comments.
The clip from their show went viral, and people were not happy about Nelly’s attitude toward caring for his own child.
“That’s the actual dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” one critic wrote on Reddit. “He’s a baby not a tamagotchi you can’t just ignore him when he’s hungry.”
Another person questioned, “Why even bring a child into this world if you’re not going to take care of them??”
However, others pointed out that Nelly’s hands-off approach is unfortunately not unique to him.
“I feel like this is super common,” a third person wrote. “Maybe not to this extent but almost every woman I know who has young children have husbands that do barely a fraction of the childcare. They just don’t say it out loud.”
A fourth critic referred to Ashanti as a “married single mother” and said this is “the unfortunate reality for a lot of women.”
