We all know moms have the hardest and most important job of all. Yet up until now, we'd never dream of actually listing that title on our resume. Did you ever stop to think why not? Right! There is NO good reason why women shouldn't boast that role, and why employers wouldn't be lucky to have us.
After all, moms can do EVERYTHING. Career experts are finally recognizing this and suggesting mothers include their child-raising experience as one of their qualifications for outside employment.
But are you a "domestic manager" or "household engineer"? Many websites offer tips on how to structure your resume to reflect being a full-time mom, like bringing attention to your skills and volunteering. These are all great tips, but in this economy, you really have to sell yourself with an extra-special, attention-getting title.
Here are 40 of our favorite, funny ways to say "mom" that might work for your resume (just don't blame us if you don't get the job):
- Household CEO
- Masters & PhD in Patience
- Familial Law Enforcer
- Non-TV Activity Coordinator
- English Language Educator
- Playground Medic
- President of Waste Management
- Fast Food Chef
- Tantrum & Meltdown Negotiator
- Search & Rescue: Small Plastic Pieces Unit
- Chief Monster Hunter
- College Application Adviser
- Doll Doctor
- Archaeologist Specializing in Under Bed and Inside Closet Digs
- Teen Sex Counselor
- Spiritual Leader
- Backyard Safety Commissioner
- Toy Repair Specialist
- Art Critic
- Philanthropist for Little People's Arts & Music
- Teenage Dating Expert
- Chief Drug Counselor
- Anger Management Specialist
- Toddler Tantrum Wrestling Champ
- Playdate Social Secretary
- CEO, Department of Make Believe
- Manners Expert
- Personal Shopper
- Fashion Stylist & Consultant
- Professor, Imagination Studies
- Sleep Scientist (work mostly night shifts)
- Teen Angst Psychoanalyst
- Captain, Soccer Mom Cheerleading Squad
- Dental Hygienist
- Tooth Brushing Instructor
- Keeper of Top Secret Secrets (pinkie swear!)
- Personal Chauffeur & Expert Driver
- Hairstylist (specializing in pigtails and wiggly clients)
- Birthday Party Planner
- President of (Insert Your Kid's Name Here) Fan Club
Of course, putting any of these on your resume will have employers laughing you out the door, but most of these labels for moms make sense to me. Then again, if our world was such that moms could list everything they've become experts in since having kids, their resumes would be at least 10 pages long.
What other funny job titles would you list on your resume?
Image via marshillonline/Flickr
