Amanda Seyfried, doe-eyed star of Red Riding Hood, opened up to Elle in next month's issue about her love life and her former relationship with Mamma Mia costar, Dominic Cooper. Seyfried has been linked most recently with Reese Witherspoon's ex, Ryan Phillippe, but she was pretty mum when it came to dishing about her current beau. Instead, she wanted to talk about her heartbreak.
Amanda admits she fell hard for Dominic, but was wrong by "foolishly thinking" she was in a monogamous relationship with the actor. Apparently, Dom was still seeing his ex-girlfriend on and off while simultaneously seeing Amanda. So Amanda broke up with him, then they got back together, and then they broke up again … you know how this story goes.
Amanda admits she got her "heart broken pretty hard" and now finds it really difficult to open up to a new person. Is it because she didn't make a clean break from Dom when she should have?
That's my theory. The break up, get back together cycle is brutal and I wouldn't wish my worst enemies to take a spin in that centrifuge of death. I'm a firm believer of staying away from any gray areas when it comes to an end of a dating relationship.
And I'm kind of strict. No texts, no calls, no emails, no visits, no nothing. It's best to rip the Band-Aid off all at once as opposed to slowly tearing arm hairs out over time with each weak tug until you realize that not only is your heart wound still raw, but now your freaking arm is bleeding, too.
Swimming laps in a cloudy pond of "are we, aren't we" uncertainty — wait, does this mean we're back together? does this mean he wants to see me more? does this mean this or does this mean that or does this all mean that this is that? — you'll come out feeling soaking wet and exhausted.
Had Amanda walked away the first time, permanently, I don't think she would've come out as scarred. Of course it seems impossible to do — it feels like a profound loss, a death even — but it's better to start dealing with the pain right away than to try and make it go away with just one more text, or one last dinner, or one last night together.
It's fine, even appropriate to reach out to exes once significant time has passed and all wounds are as healed as they're ever going to be. When all expectation or hope of getting back together has quieted down to a dull tummy grumble (no more gusher of acid burning its way through your esophagus and out of your mouth) is it probably OK to pick up the phone.
That's my philosophy anyway. Easier said than done, of course.
What's your dating breakup philosophy?
Photo via csztova/Flickr
