How to Get Your Guy to Notice You During Football Season

Fall means millions of Americans spend Mondays at home watching big boys tackle each other in the hopes of scoring a touchdown. That sounds sexual, no? Why not make it more fun than just sitting in front of the TV?

After all, if you or your man is going to spend a lot of time making a big deal about a ball (good time to remind you, don't forget the balls), might as well find a way to score your own touchdown during, or after, each game. And because I love games, and competitive sportsmanship can be sexy, here are a few ideas to score in your sex life during football season.

Here are some rules I made up. The only one that you have to stick to is you both have to choose a different team — even if you're rooting for the same team in real life. Then, try any or all of these fun ideas:

1. Every time your team scores a touchdown, you get 15 minutes of being "touched down" in any way you want. That could be massage, manual stimulation, oral sex — whatever feels good to the touch. You get touched, but you don't do the touching. For a field goal, you get a short, three-minute version. 

2. After the initial kickoff, every change of possession that happens as a result of a fumble or other error lends itself to a bout of erotic wrestling at the next commercial break. 

3. At halftime, the person with the team in the lead gets to choose what sexy thing you do during halftime. It can be sex, a strip-tease, or even just sitting around naked. If the teams are tied, the default is 69.

4. For every fight that's broken up, you have to kiss. 

5. Whichever team wins, that person gets to schedule sex in the calendar. If you can't fit it in that night, or right after the game, then the rule is you have to set aside time before you watch the next football game. After all, if you've got time for football, you must have time for sex!

What rules would you add to the sexy football game?

Image via Anderson Mancini/Flickr