I have a few really good friends whom I love to death. They have amazing significant others whom I also really like and enjoy chatting with — when we're all together having dinner or drinks. But when it comes to sharing social media experiences with my friends, I won't do it if they've decided to merge their accounts with those of their husbands or boyfriends. It's nothing personal — like I said, I don't have anything against their partners — but chatting with RebeccaPaulForever on Facebook defeats the entire purpose of staying in touch with a person via social media outlets. And the truth is: lots of people think it's just plain weird.
Oversharing online can work in several ways that aren't limited to couples creating one Facebook account. Some husbands/wives and boyfriends/girlfriends share online calendars — which seems more convenient than odd to me — as well as email passwords and even actual email accounts. Couples who do it consider it part of the "nesting" process of settling down with a partner. They feel that when you share one online presence, you're letting the world know you are truly serious and committed.
We get it: you're in love. And it's a free country, so share away. But you should know that it sucks for the rest of us. I don't feel free to post a specific comment to my friend without acknowledging her husband. It seems rude to do so. But I don't really have anything to say to her husband — and it seems weird to do that, too — so I usually just avoid posting on their pages altogether.
Based on an informal survey I conducted among my Facebook friends — many of whom are happily married — here's what others have to say about the practice:
Sandra: "FB should be where you reconnect with friends and follow up with family … I have a few friends who share and I never know who I am talking with … I tend to not write to them as much."
Elizabeth: "It makes me wonder about their relationship. Do they not trust each other? Did one do something questionable in the relationship?"
Diana: "I know someone who constantly posts through her husband’s Facebook account. I never know who I’m talking to, her or her husband."
Tommy: "If I get a request from a couples page, I don't accept it. Or I don't ever talk to them because you never know who you're talking to. Their couples page negates them altogether as far as I'm concerned."
As far as sharing email accounts and passwords is concerned: a big no to that. It just reeks of high school relationship insecurity.
Do you share an online social media account with your partner? How do you feel about the practice?
Image via Tim Hale Photography/Corbis
