The newly heartbroken have enough to endure around Valentine's Day without having to deal with the rest of us rubbing their noses in a bunch of sparkly pink, heart-shaped crap. For just this reason, we've rounded up the best gift ideas for friends and loved ones who find their hearts blackened with the horror, hate, and despair of a fresh breakup on February 14.
Valentine's Day comes once a year no matter what. It doesn't care if our hearts are crushed, if we're signing our final divorce papers, or that it's been just two days since we just caught him cheating … with his ex. There's no escaping the public lovefest. Bouquets show up around the office at work, there are fully red and pink aisles at Target (ruining the whole point of shopping therapy), and just make it stop with The Notebook marathons this time of year!
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So, as they say, can't beat 'em, join 'em! And that's why we put together this fresh list of anti-Valentine's Day gifts for those of us who are feeling lonely, sad, bitter, or like just getting a little drunk over the whole idea of LOVE this year. Here we go — 11 of the best anti–Valentine's Day gifts for those who find themselves in need.
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Wine Is My Valentine T-Shirt
This tee goes great with, that's right, a bottle of wine! The cheaper the better.
Wine Is My Valentine T-shirt gift ($26, ForestStClothing/Etsy)
Heavy Heart Social Alert Button
Alert everyone in the social circle that there's a heartbroken one in the midst. It's a subtle way of announcing, "Be delicate, friends."
Heavy Heart Social Alert Button ($4, wordforwordfactory/Etsy)
Quietly Plotting Revenge Mug
A nice mug to help percolate what’s brewing in that dark, dark crushed heart.
"Quietly Plotting Revenge" Mug ($18, FarizulaDesigns/Etsy)
I Hate Everyone & Pants iPhone Case
Better said on their iPhone case than being screamed from the rooftops (sans pants).
I Hate Everyone & Pants Phone Case ($36, Society 6)
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Teardrop Pillow Plush
This teardrop pillow because it's alright to cry … and to have something soft to cry all over.
Teardrop Pillow Plush ($25, FlatBonnie/Etsy)
The Ex 5-Piece Knife Set
The freshly dumped need a safe place to take out their aggressions.
THE EX Kitchen Knife Set ($159, Amazon)
The Boyfriend Pillow
In case you’re wondering, yes, there is a Girlfriend Pillow, too.
Boyfriend Pillow ($32, Allegro Medical)
Ovaries Before Brovaries Wine Glass
After a bad breakup, drinking with girlfriends helps. A little. This sisterhood glass will make it help even more.
Ovaries Before Brovaries Wine Glass ($10, LunaBJewelry/Etsy)
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Paper Voodoo Pad
Oh, this is good. Wrap up with a box of fresh stick pins.
Paper Voodoo Pad ($7, Knock Knock)
Bite Me Pillow
When everyone else is dressing up for Valentine’s Day parties, the heartbroken would much rather sit home cuddling their bitterness.
"Bite Me" Pillow ($15, CreateLikeAGirl/Etsy)
Black Heart Lollipops
Who says the darkest days of heartbreak can’t be sweet?
Black Heart Lollipops ($12 for 6, SweetCarolineConfect/Etsy)
