He's handsome, charming, smooth. He says he loves you and wants to treat you like a princess. You've never felt anything like this before. This man has to be your soul mate. He says he feels the same way. This could be the perfect beginning of a lifelong relationship … or a con job. Con men know exactly what to say and do to get you hooked. Mischele Lewis was recently stunned to learn her boyfriend and father of her child was actually notorious con man William Allen Jordan. Unfortunately, she didn't find this out until he had stolen thousands from her, broken her heart, and impregnated her. If you pay careful attention, you can probably figure these things out a bit sooner. Here are 6 signs you're with a con man.
1. He's a smooth operator. These guys don't get away with all the stuff they get away with because they don't know how to work people. If the first time you met this man he seemed to be "too good to be true," then keep your eyes and ears open.
2. Instant intimacy. He will likely want to move very fast into a relationship; all the better to gain your trust and get what he needs out of you. He may pressure you to get married or move in together very quickly. He may start calling you a pet name right away.
3. Jobs of authority. Con men will often short cut their way to gaining your trust and obedience by pretending to hold a job that traditionally garners respect and admiration, such as policeman, doctor, lawyer, military member, or someone high up in the secret echelons of the government. Mischele Lewis' con man pretended to be working for the CIA. He then convinced Mischele she needed security clearance in order to be with him — which was a brilliant way of getting all kinds of private information out of her.
4. Asking for personal information. It's one thing if your husband asks for your Social Security number. It's another thing if someone you've known a few weeks or months does. Personal information such as your Social Security number, ATM PIN number, or credit card numbers should never be given out until you have been with someone for a very long time. As for info like birth dates, home addresses, etc., you have to use your own judgment, but it can't hurt to err on the side of caution and wait until you've known someone at least a few months.
5. Asking for money. Con men are very good at coming up with reasons they need money. Whether it's because a check got held up, or they have an emergency, or they have a great business opportunity, never give anyone you haven't known a very long time money! Mischele Lewis' con man had her transfer money from her bank to him as a "test" to prove she was trustworthy. What kind of cockamamie test is that? Con men may pay back early loans to establish trust. There are other assets con men might want besides money: The title to your home; your signature on an insurance policy; your name on a loan, etc.
6. Disappearing acts. People who disappear for days or even weeks at a time are always up to no good. Especially if they do it around the holidays. Mischele Lewis' con man blew her off on Christmas, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day even though she was pregnant. This is usually because the con man is leading a double life and needs to be elsewhere during this time. Don't buy any excuses.
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If you suspect you're in a relationship a con man, it can't hurt to go through his wallet and check his identity on his driver's license (but don't assume that's the right one!). Then do some Google searches or run his name through a database like Intellius, Spokeo, or CheckPeople. This is exactly how Mischele Lewis finally figured out that she was dealing with a hardened con man who had been at it for years and had 13 children by 8 different women.
Lewis was able to have her boyfriend arrested.
Have you ever dated a con man?
Image via Anthony Redpath/Corbis
