If you've ever stayed up late Googling crazy questions about sex (not that I have, heh heh …), there's one thing you should know: You're not alone. Our searches reveal that we are ALL wigging out over sex.
That's what economist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz found when he looked at all our sex-related Google searches. His results will surprise you! But his conclusion is reassuring.
Many of our deepest fears about how our sexual partners perceive us are unjustified. Alone, at their computers, with no incentive to lie, partners reveal themselves to be fairly nonsuperficial and forgiving. In fact, we are all so busy judging our own bodies that there is little energy left over to judge other people’s.
Maybe if we worried less about sex, we’d have more of it.
And maybe instead of asking Google so many question, we should try talking with each other more.
What sex-related questions have you searched for? Were the results ever helpful?
Image via Syda Productions/Shutterstock
Not Enough Sex
The top complaint for married people is not enough sex. Unmarried people are more likely to search about "abusive relationships," but "sexless relationships" comes in a close second.
Men Holding Out
Forget the stereotype of men always wanting sex more than women. There are twice as many searches for "my boyfriend won't have sex with me" as searches for "my girlfriend won't have sex with me."
For married couples, searches for "my wife won't have sex with me" are about equal to searches for "my husband won't have sex with me." I wonder if men are less likely to ask the Internet this question because it's less surprising when women don't want sex?
Penis Above All Other Parts
This will surprise no one. Men question the Internet about their penises more than any other body part. And what they're most concerned about will not surprise you, either.
Big Enough Johnson
"How to make my penis bigger" is just the beginning. Nine of men's top ten searches about the penis have to do with size. Guys! How many times do we have to say it? It's not the size, it's what you do with it.
Wrong Size
Women Google far less about their partners' penis size, and when they do, half the time they're complaining that it's too big. TOO. BIG.
More from The Stir: Women Should Stop Pretending That Size Doesn't Matter
That Not-So-Fresh Smell
Women google a lot of questions about our vaginas, and most of our questions are health-related. However, we are definitely concerned about how we smell. Fish odor worries us most of all, followed by vinegar, onions, ammonia, garlic, cheese, body odor, urine, blood, bleach, feces, sweat, metal, feet, garbage, and rotten meat.
Men sometimes search about vaginal odor, too, often wanting to figure out how to tell their partner she smells without hurting her feelings.
Lasting Longer
The second most common sex-related search for men is how to last longer before climaxing. But again, this does not hold true for women. In fact, women are just as likely to search how to make their partner climax faster. Maybe you guys should just talk to each other about this stuff, since it seems there's a 50 percent chance you're not on the same page?
Butt Size
Once upon a time, it was mostly people in black communities who wanted larger derrieres, while elsewhere women searched for ways to get smaller behinds. But in the past four years, it's been all about that bass, as searches for how to get a bigger butt have tripled. Only time will tell if we've reached Peak Butt yet.
Breast Size
YES, men search more for big-boob porn than small-boob porn. However, the top search for "girlfriend's breasts" is "I love my girlfriend's boobs." I'm not sure why anyone would need to tell Google that, but there you go.
Furthermore, Stephens-Davidowitz adds, "Google searches about one’s wife and breast implants are evenly split between asking how to persuade her to get implants and perplexity as to why she wants them." So aside from those guys who want the women they supposedly love to undergo major surgery (not that I'm judging or anything), a lot of men are perfectly happy with what Mother Nature provides. And ladies? So should we.
