Many have heard of the term “trad wife” in reference to women who embrace so-called traditional gender roles in a marriage. For one woman on TikTok, however, it goes a bit deeper due to what she calls getting the “princess treatment” from her husband. The only problem, according to others on the platform, is that the treatment also means she doesn’t seem to have a voice of her own.
The TikToker, whose name is Courtney Joelle, explains in her video that when she goes out to eat with her husband, she doesn’t “make eye contact” or speak to any of the restaurant staff. Instead, she allows her husband to take care of that for her. Although it might at first seem ideal to have a husband who opens doors at all times and escorts you to and from where you need to be, other people aren’t having it.
@jojoejoelle Princess Treatment Dining Edition 🕊️🤍 #princesstreatment #princesstreatmentonly #husbandwife #marriage #marriedlife #husband #healthymarriage ♬ original sound – courtney_joelle
Her ‘princess treatment’ is hard for many to understand.
Courtney explains multiple situations when women who are in her position to receive this princess treatment would have to wait for their husbands to do anything at a restaurant. She gives an example of someone’s husband escorting her inside the restaurant and then having to leave to park the car. In that case, the wife would wait for him to come back instead of speaking to a hostess or anyone else to get a table.
She explains that this kind of behavior isn’t about believing she is better than the wait staff at restaurants. Instead, according to Courtney, it’s about “letting your husband lead and be masculine.” By that logic, she seems to be under the assumption that speaking to other people and taking the initiative in these situations would emasculate the man.
Another component of the princess treatment, according to Courtney, is to not talk just to fill space when it comes to speaking to others on behalf of her husband.
“You don’t need to talk unless you are spoken to,” she shares in her video. She says that if you are spoken to, just explain that you are waiting for your husband.
@jojoejoelle Spend the Morning with me 🤍 #housewifelife #housewife #housewivesoftiktok #sahmsoftiktok #sahmlife #sahm ♬ Soulful Shadows – Chihua
Not every wife agrees with this, though.
“I’m all for holding doors, dropping off, etc. – chivalry if you will,” one wife commented. “But my husband’s masculinity doesn’t depend on me answering a question when a host asks me something….or in me ordering my own food. And ‘wait until spoken to’ sounds oppressive but you do you, princess.”
Another person commented on her video to share their perspective as someone in the service industry. “As a former server, if I saw this I’d genuinely be concerned that it was a case of domestic violence,” the person wrote.
Someone else chimed in that despite Courtney saying her behavior has nothing to do with the staff, “As a hostess and server, it’s considered very rude to not make eye contact with us! It makes us feel like you think you are better than us!”
Others pointed out that they believe a proper “princess treatment” would entail speaking up for yourself and saying what you want rather than seemingly letting someone make the decision for you. Another person commented to explain that someone can act like a princess but also be friendly and personable at the same time. According to most of the comments under the video and others after it, the TikTok creator has a very different meaning of being treated as and acting like a princess.
