It takes a certain kind of strong, self-assured, and utterly selfless woman to put aside all petty thoughts she may have in an effort to involve her ex-husband's new girlfriend or wife in her family's life. If you and your partner don't have kids, you can probably get away with living the rest of your days without saying "boo" to your ex's new love. But one mom of three teenage boys realized that wasn't going to be the case—so she wrote her ex-husband's girlfriend an epic letter that serves as an example of grace and maturity.
You may be thinking exactly what this mom assumed her ex's girlfriend might: that she was about to be forced to read a rambling missive from a disgruntled woman who is looking for a chance to cut her ex down and lecture her on what she is and isn't allowed to do with her children.
But Awesome Ex-Wife immediately quells her fears:
You must be cringing as you read this. You must be thinking I’m going to school you on how to treat your new boyfriend. You must be thinking I’m going to lay down some laws about how to treat my children.
That is not at all what this letter is about.
I would like to welcome you.
Welcome to this unique dynamic of “modern family.” Welcome to the way we wing this life and this relationship.
She then jumps into the main reason she is writing the letter: to assure the woman that the only relationship she and her ex-husband are involved in is the equivalent of a business partnership—and the "business" is raising their three sons together.
She writes:
To me, he’s a great guy for someone else.
This might sound weird, but I’m so excited about you. My sons will see a side of their father that they don’t even know they missed. They’ll witness the kind of happiness that blooms from the excitement, joy and mystery that comes with a new relationship. They’ll see their father beaming with hope. They’ll hear him laugh (too much and too loud, as they’ve reported to us) and speak with a new charm in his voice. And because they love and admire him, all of these things will make them happier, too.
Her letter is long, but worth a read. Although I found myself choking back tears at several points, the paragraph I just included was one of the most touching I've come across in a long time. It's beautiful to think this woman values her husband's happiness, despite what they went through during their divorce, because she is wise enough to understand that his happiness isn't solely his. It's contagious. It spreads to her sons, who will only benefit from seeing their parents content.
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This woman is the friend every woman needs in life. She reminds us that, no matter how sad or disappointed we may be because the outcome of a relationship we invested time in didn't pan out, our former partner was someone we once loved and cherished. Every second we waste wishing for our ex's unhappiness is a second we are sacrificing our own happiness. It's totally not worth it.
As difficult as it might have been to write this letter, this woman deserves to be commended for her courage. Hands down: coolest ex-wife ever.
What would you tell your ex-husband's new girlfriend or wife if you had the chance?
Image via frankieleon/Flickr
