Double dates always seem like a good idea, but sometimes they can take a weird turn, you know? I'm not talking weird as in making out with your high school boyfriend in the front seat at the drive-in movies while his best friend and his girlfriend make out in the backseat and you all pretend you can't hear each other. (Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!)
I'm talking bananas, beyond awkward, and downright dangerous evenings out with two-too-many people. Here are some of the most bizarre double date stories this group of moms can remember.
1. Don't I know you from somewhere?
"When I first started dating my husband, we went on a double date with his brother and his fiancé. At some point during the evening his brother asked me if I had worked at a certain store in the local mall (which I had). He said, 'I knew you looked familiar!'
"What made this so creepy is that it had been more than 10 years and he'd never actually been in my store or spoken to me."
2. Brought her baby and acted like a baby
One mom recalls meeting a friend and her husband at an adults-only restaurant. She got a sitter. The other couple did not.
"She showed up 40 minutes late (we were already eating), then made a huge-ass scene about how they needed a bigger table to put their 3-week-old baby and their 7-year-old. She even spit at someone. We quickly got our check and took our leftovers home. We were so embarrassed that someone almost in their 30s would act like this!"
3. Too much baby talk
Another mom spent dinner watching her friends make baby talk to each other. "While we were waiting on our dinner she kept talking to her husband like he was a baby and he would do it to her as well. My husband and I were really weirded out. I've heard of people doing that, but it was my first time witnessing it!"
4. Never double date with the parents
"When I was 13 I went on a double date with my boyfriend and his parents. We were both awkward, nerdy kids. We went to Swiss Chalet and his parents kept making comments about wedding bells and inappropriate jokes. It was super weird. His mom ended up downing a few too many drinks and then they started making out for about 20 minutes while my boyfriend and I tried to ignore it by making stupid faces using napkins as beards."
More from The Stir: 8 Things NOT to Do on a Double Date (If You Want a Second One)
5. An evening with a white supremacist
One woman went on a double date with her friend's boyfriend's cousin, who started off acting like a perfect gentleman. But then a Latino couple sat down at the table next to them, and her date started making loud remarks like "I wish I'd known this was a spic club," and "Spics are nasty when they eat, like pigs at a trough." But wait, there's more!
"Our entrees arrive, and he proceeds to tell me that I can't eat it all, because that would make me fat. But get a doggy bag, so he could eat it later.
"Then he announced that I shouldn't have dessert, because he had ice cream at his cousin's place and ice cream is always best after 'getting it on.'" The woman ended up throwing a drink in her rude, racist date's face and storming out. She never spoke to her friend again.
6. My best friend's two boyfriends
"My best friend had two boyfriends. One knew about the other, but the other was clueless (they were also best friends). I went out with the side boyfriend just so she could have both of them there without it looking weird.
"Side boyfriend started getting pissy watching the two of them dance and kiss so I spent my time trying to calm him down and distract him. He finally walked off to be by himself. The other boyfriend sees his best friend sulking and went over to talk to him. It was just … well … awkward. That was the last time I ever did anyone a favor like that."
7. One crowded table
A mom recalls her high school prom date, which started with her date's friend chauffeuring them to dinner in a tricked-out pickup truck. Her date had made reservations at a restaurant before the dance … for five people.
"His friend ate with us, in his ripped farm boy flannel and jeans (I don't mean that to sound judgmental, he was actually a very good-looking guy, but it was just an interesting sight to see). And we had two empty seats. While we were waiting for our table, a girl in our grade walked in with her underclassman boyfriend."
The prom date invites this second couple to join them at their table because they both just happen to have two extra seats. And THEN! The underclassman boyfriend's grandparents come into the restaurant with two of his youngest siblings to check out his date. They stayed to make a few jokes and take some photos of everyone before finally leaving.
8. When your friend's date hits on you
As a favor, a woman and her boyfriend went on a double date with her friend and a man she'd just met.
"After dinner we all talked about going back to my boyfriend's house for a couple of drinks and just to be in a more informal setting. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. When I came out [her friend's date] was waiting there, grabbed my hand and told me that the two of us should just walk out the front door and go somewhere to be alone. I just shook my head and headed back to the table. I should have said something but I am not the type of person who likes conflict.
They did all go back to her boyfriend's house, but her friend's date did not make it inside. "The date ended abruptly with the guy being knocked out cold by my boyfriend when he grabbed my ass right in front of my boyfriend."
9. Do you want to see my "gun"?
"I once went on a double date which was also a blind date and my date was horrible. He was a NYC cop who kept asking me if I wanted to see his gun. (I don't think he meant the one in his holster!) After I had two cocktails, he said, 'If I'd have known you were going to drink like this I'd have bought you a bottle of vodka and left you in the car!' I was thinking, 'I'd have preferred that!' but didn't say it.
"Later he showed me his Tasmanian devil tattoo (on his hip!) and asked me if he 'came all the way to Jersey' would I make it worth his while? That's when the toll was only $4 — but still, no!
"Thankfully, I never saw him again!" And that's how all terrible double date stories should end.
Image via gpointstudio/shutterstock
