Getting dumped, divorced, or otherwise heartbroken is always as harsh as it sounds. We all know the feeling, but still: Dealing with a wallowing friend is never simple. Sometimes, you gotta let the pros do the heavy lifting for you.
By that, of course, we mean you need to send a card. Here are 16 that are smarter, sweeter, and a little bit sassier than anything we could write ourselves. If you think you can do better than these, then, well, you should quit your job and start writing cards. We need all the help we can get, here.
Image via Jakub Krechowicz/Shutterstock
Love Stinks
That's all there really is, right? Love might stink, but we still love this Love Stinks Breakup Card ($4, thelittleillustrator/etsy.com).
Sorry He's an @ss!
How many not-nice ways can you describe your best friend's ex? Olive & Clyde came up with a few and illustrated them adorably on their Sorry He's an Ass Breakup Card ($4.50, oliveandclyde.com).
Everything Happens
You might not be able to ease your friend's heartbreak, but you can (and should) still be able to throw a solid right hook. Need to express this sentiment? Emily McDowell Studio's Everything Happens Empathy Card ($4.50, emilymcdowell.com) might be able to help.
Sorry
Your friend is awesome and their ex sucked. You know it, and they need to hear it. (We think this "Sorry Your Ex" Card ($5.33, HiLoveGreetings/etsy.com) does the trick nicely.)
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Stages of Grief
You and your heartbroken friend both know that the whole "five stages of grief" thing is mostly crap. Emily McDowell Studio sums up the stages we're more familar with on their Five Stages Empathy Card ($4.50, emilymcdowell.com).
Here for Both
If you're going to give this Margarita Sympathy Card ($4.25, BEpaperie/etsy.com), just have to make sure you can follow through and actually offer margaritas. (That's the helpful part, after all.)
No One Liked Him
Send this Mardy Mabel Greeting Card ($6.33, dust.ie) to your recently dumped friend with an #oops. Nobody wanted to say it but everyone thought it, right? Right.
Don't Cry
Can we get an "Amen," ladies? Your mascara costs, like, $12, and crying over your ex is so not worth it. Know someone who needs a reminder? Try this Funny Mascara Break Up Card ($4.25, BettieConfetti/etsy.com).
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God's Garbage Plan
It's always nice to hear that our situation is as terrible as we feel it is, so we're sure Emily McDowell Studio's God's Plan Empathy Card ($4.50, emilymcdowell.com) will be appreciated. Plus, she's not wrong. Pandas are perfect.
Stinky Cheese
Any man that breaks ya girl's heart is a piece of stinky cheese. We know this, you know this. Your friend knows this but needs to be reminded. IndieBerries has you covered with her Funny Stinky Cheese Breakup Card ($4.20, indieBerries/etsy.com).
He's Gone
Welp. It's blunt, but it's what we're all thinking, no? We have a lot of love for this "GONE" Breakup Card ($3.75, FunGirlsCards/etsy.com) and we think we'll need to stock up.
I'm Not Going Anywhere
Most of the time, basic is best. You want your friend to know that you're not going to abandon them while they're slogging through a tough time? Tell them. Hint: Emily McDowell Studio's Awkward Sympathy Card ($4.50, emilymcdowell.com) might help.
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You Never Noticed?
Young love makes you overlook certain things, and a recent breakup is the time to bring it all back up again. We think this Anti Boyfriend Card ($2.95, katndrewcards/etsy.com) says it quite nicely. You really never noticed he stunk?
Taco 'Bout It
Adorable, we know. Taco puns will never stop making us smile, even when our hearts are broken. We're sure your friends will feel the same about Owl and Oak's Taco 'Bout It Sympathy Card ($4.95, oneofakindonlineshop.com) as we do.
You're Hotter
It's probably true. This Congratulations on the Breakup Card ($4.50, bittersweetbreakups.com) is accurate, and it can't hurt to remind your friend of this.
Netflix, Kleenex ...
Just to be clear, this Netflix Breakup Card ($4.50, wordforwordfactory/etsy.com) is a little bit more helpful when it comes with all three items listed. But the card's cute anyways.
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