Growing up, I used to like to imagine what my future husband would be like. I pictured tall and handsome, of course, as well as funny and kind. I never, not once, imagined he'd already have kids. But then I fell head over heels in love with a man with two sons and soon faced a previously unimagined milestone: the first time meeting his kids.
Meeting my now-stepsons was both nerve-racking and uneventful. They were 10 and 13 years old and were polite but a little cautious. I asked them questions and got one-word answers. They looked eager to get it over with so we had dinner and called it an early night. It took a few more meetings before we really started to bond, but that first meeting wasn't terrible, just a little boring.
I asked some other women who've dated men with kids, and it turns out I got pretty lucky to have had a boring first meeting. Read on for some cringeworthy stories of when meeting his kids goes wrong.
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Surly
"Meeting my boyfriend's 13-year-old daughter was SO awkward. I don't know if it was meeting me or if it was just generally teenage surliness, but she basically snarled at me the whole time. There were eye rolls every time I asked her a question and she was texting the whole time. It was the longest night ever. My boyfriend is lucky he is cute." — E.D.
Surprise Meeting
"I'm a single mom and so I've always been cautious about introducing my girls to anyone I'm seeing. I started seeing Mike, who also has kids, and we agreed not to introduce our kids until we'd been together at least six months.
So, one day, about a month into things, I walked into a coffee shop with my oldest daughter and Mike was there with his son. I totally froze and didn't know what to do. I stood there staring at him and my daughter was like, 'Um, Mom, why are you being so weird?' and then Mike noticed us and he came over to say hi and I panicked and introduced him to my daughter as my insurance agent.
I have no idea why I said that and he was like, 'Um, okay…' and it was all just so uncomfortable. He still teases me about it." — D.R.
Chomp!
"For our first meeting, I invited him and his daughters over for dinner. Turns out the littler one is a biter. ASK ME HOW I KNOW." — S.B.
More from The Stir: Hitting & Biting in Toddlers: How to Handle It
Ex Factor
"I've only dated a guy with kids once and our one and only meeting did NOT go well.
We agreed to do a picnic at the park and it was going fine with the girls (who were 3 and 5, I think) until their mom showed up to take them for the night. She and the guy ended up getting into a huge fight about my being there and the girls were crying and trying to climb on my lap.
I ended the relationship that night. I was just not ready for that level of drama." — P.W.
Blew It
"I totally blew it when I met my now-husband's kids for the first time. I was so nervous that I overcompensated and was over-the-top engaged with the kids. I kind of freaked them out, actually. And I brought them presents, which annoyed my husband because he felt like that was bribing them to like me. It took us a few weeks to get past it enough to try again." — R.T.
The ER Visit
"Um, let's see — the first time I met his son, I sent him to the emergency room with a concussion. Does that count as a horror story?
We wanted to do something fun for our first outing. I suggested roller skating. It was all fun times until I slipped while holding Jake's hand. I pulled Jake down so hard that he hit the rink with his head. He was clearly out of it afterwards so we had to go to the ER. He had a concussion and I had the worst case of guilt ever afterwards.
Ten years later and he still teases me about trying to kill him on the first meeting." — D.L.
Morning Surprise
"I was sitting in my boyfriend's backyard, still in my nightgown, having a morning cup of coffee, when I suddenly heard little voices.
I learned three things that morning: that my boyfriend had kids, that my boyfriend forgot his kids were coming over, and that meeting your boyfriend's kids when you don't have a bra or underwear on is SUPER awkward." — B.V.
Family Affair
"Due to a fairly epic miscommunication, my (now) husband and I went to his niece's graduation party and his ex and the kids came as well. This was when the two of them could barely be in the same room together. Add in my being there, the kids meeting me for the first time, and the whole family watching, it was a train wreck of an afternoon." — G.H.
More from The Stir: 20 Signs He's Not Over His Ex
Nice to Meet You
"My husband's oldest son — he was 21 at the time — refused to meet me. He thought we'd gotten together before he was divorced from his mom, which wasn't true, but he refused every chance to meet me.
Until our wedding day. He showed up 12 minutes before the ceremony. There literally could not have been a more surprising time for him to arrive. I basically shook his hand and then married his dad." — O.D.
Mean Girls
"I think the real highlight of our first meeting was having my future stepdaughter and her friend tell me I had an 'old lady ass' when my fiancée was out of the room. Charming girls." — A.E.
