2022 Is the Year I’m Choosing To Take a Guilt-Free Break From My Household

I am a mother to the most amazing 3-year-old little girl in the world. She is my heart and soul, and I would happily die for her if I needed.

I am also wife to an amazing and loving man who only wants to see me and our daughter happy.

That’s why I feel so selfish saying this, but I realize what I want most this New Year is not something for my husband or my daughter or even my family, but for me. And what I want is a break. I need it.

I've been a full-time stay-at-home mom who also works from home as a freelance writer since my daughter was born.

For the first year of my daughter’s life, understandably so, I put all my attention toward her. Newborn babies are notoriously needy, so I took care of all those needs. Like most new moms, showers and basic hygiene became a thing of the past. But that’s OK.

Then when my daughter was around 18 months old the pandemic hit, and any plans I had of taking some “me time” were quickly put on hold. I was already used to being a stay-at-home mom who also worked from home, but any plans for my daughter going to nursey school were quickly laid to rest, as was any help from the outside world, i.e. babysitters.

My daughter is now 3 years old and while I had hoped she would be attending school this year, we have chosen not to send her.

With information about the new omicron variant constantly changing, my husband and I decided not to take the risk, especially since we both work from home.

But the thing is, I can feel myself on the brink of a constant panic attack. I need a break. Badly. I can feel it. I feel it as a mother. I feel it as a wife. I feel it as a woman.

I’m exhausted. I’m tired. I’m losing my patience more quickly, both with my daughter and my husband. I just want a break. And no, not time to shower or pee alone or work, which makes our family money.

I want time to myself to do things that benefit my mental and physical well-being.

I want to get back to exercising. Not just the long walks I take because they’re convenient to do with my daughter in the stroller. I want time to get a manicure. I want time to go out for a coffee alone. I want time to sit and read a book.

I’m far from alone. Many mothers are finding their mental health is suffering, and that is evident in certain findings. According to the American Psychological Association, mothers are more likely than fathers to say that their mental health has worsened since the pandemic — 39% compared to 25%. Slightly more than 3 in 10 adults reported their mental health has worsened compared with before the pandemic and nearly half of mothers who still have children home for remote learning (47%) reported their mental health has worsened.

Due to so much stress, moms with young children increased their alcohol consumption by nearly 325% between the beginning of the pandemic and the end of 2020, as shown by a study by nonprofit RTI International for the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

These numbers are proof of what we already know: Moms are burnt out. Myself included.

The thing is, like most moms, I’m not good about admitting when I can use a hand. My husband has always made himself more than available to help in any way that he can. And we’re very lucky to live down the street from my parents, who also make themselves completely available.

Now I’m going to take everyone up on their offer because I seriously need a break. Once I start taking some more time for myself, I know I will be a better mother to my daughter. I will feel happier, more patient and calmer, because I will be taking time to make me happy. And that will make my daughter happy.

At the end of the day, everything I do is for my daughter. And that includes this mama’s much-needed break.