His name was Jeff and he was a totally adorable guy at my gym. Seeing him there inspired me to never miss a workout — something that my boyfriend at the time was totally impressed with. Yes, I had a serious boyfriend. And, yes, I had a massive crush on someone else.
Nothing ever happened with Jeff, so my crush was really harmless. Maybe even helpful — my butt looked fantastic after all those trips to the gym! But I can't lie, I did sometimes feel the littlest bit guilty about harboring crushing feelings when I was actually in love with someone else.
I hadn't thought about Jeff in a long time, but then one of my friends confessed that she was having serious butterflies in her stomach every time the contractor working on her kitchen remodel came around. She was actually blushing as she told me about him — something that I thought was adorable since she's been married for over 35 years!
Getting a mad crush as a married or partnered person can be fun — but it can also be confusing, inappropriate, and even breakup causing. Read on for 11 stories of intense real-life crushes.
Pay Attention
"There are a couple of men I know who I think are interesting, funny, and clever. I think there is a bit of a crush. I would never act on it or do anything inappropriate. I have mentioned my 'crushes' to my husband and he doesn't think twice about it (he knows these guys as well).
Sometimes I think my husband should pay a bit more attention!" — D.E.
More from CafeMom: 15 First Crush Stories That'll Make You Smile (& Cringe)
The Flutters
"I've probably had about four to five crushes since getting married 10 years ago. But nothing serious, just the flutters. I feel like after a few weeks, they would do or say something to ruin it and we'd be back to status quo.
Sometimes it's just nice to imagine something new. Even if what you have is pretty great." — W.L.
Game Changer
"A few months ago, I got a crush on another woman that I just couldn't shake. I've known I was bisexual for a while, but I've never acted on it since I didn't really figure it out until after I was married.
But then I figured out that my husband also thought Amy was hot. And it made us talk A LOT about whether polyamory was for us or even an open marriage. So far we are taking it slow and starting to spend more time all three of us. I don't know where it will end up. This crush might be a game changer." — R.J.
More from CafeMom: The Top 10 Guys Moms Secretly Have Crushes On (PHOTOS)
Giddy Thoughts
"I've actually had many crushes. But I am not a dirtbag, so they are in fun ways. My husband can totally see when I get flustered by someone and he makes fun of me.
Once I have giddy thoughts of someone, it usually lasts forever. But they are lighthearted and not deeper. I have never had an experience where my heart steered from my husband.
My relationship with him is so important, it would never even enter my mind. But what I do experience at times is after meeting someone … it makes me smile like a 14-year-old kid." — P.A.
Smiles on a Plane
"I just had a three-hour crush! He was on my same flight home from a work conference and was so dang cute. It made me all giggly. It was so inappropriate — he was maybe 22, and I'm a 40-year-old mom. I had some very fun daydreams on that plane and my husband got a VERY warm welcome when I got home." — D.L.
A Signal
"When I was married to my ex, getting crushes on other guys happened a lot. I finally realized that maybe that was a signal I wasn't happy in my relationship and decided to divorce him. I never have had one since meeting my current husband and am very happy in our relationship." — L.B.
More from CafeMom: What to Do When You're Crushing on a Guy Who's Not Your Partner
Big Flirt
"There are people who don't get crushes? Seriously, I can't imagine not having a crush on other people. I generally have two to three crushes going at any given time. My current one is the cute guy at the local butcher shop.
I might be a bigger flirt than some, but I've always just assumed it's the norm. If it's not, I kinda feel a little bad for my husband." — M.M.
Cute Artist
"I was engaged when I got a crush on a mopey guy in my art class. He was way into the tortured artist thing. Think dressing in all black, smoking moodily. His art was okay, but I just thought he was adorable.
My fiancé was pretty and easygoing and kind of boring. By the end of the semester, he and I had broken up. And I am now Mrs. Brooding Artist. Going on five years!" — N.L.
Painful & Awesome
"I'm in the midst of a massive and terrible and awesome crush on my trainer at the gym. I KNOW nothing will ever happen — my husband is great — but it feels so real right now. I get hot just thinking about him and sometimes I pretend to struggle on things just so he'll have to spot me.
I think the thing that is painful about this is knowing that I'll never have these new and intense feelings for my husband again. I miss the new days." — S.R.
Hot for Teacher
"I might have had a crush on my daughter's third grade teacher. I might have had trouble making eye contact. My entire family might have noticed and, to this day, they might tease me relentlessly.
He was so cute and smart and earnest and YOUNG. It is the young part that embrasses me." — F.W.
Flustered
"Last year I took my kids in to our pediatrician and he had the handsomest med student ever with him. The student took the appointment, and he was so tall, so good-looking, and soooo good with my children that I am surprised I managed to answer his questions intelligibly. I was probably beet red though. He was about to start his residency in peds, so I'm sure whatever clinic he is at now he is flustering new moms aplenty." — C.G.
