It's one thing to want to look good for a family's member's wedding. It's another to feel pressured by the bride or groom to completely change your image. Unfortunately, that's exactly how one guy is starting feel thanks to his sister, who is adamant he cut his long hair before her big day. But according to him, he doesn't want the chop — not because he wants to make his sister mad or because he's attached to his long locks, but because he's been growing out his hair to donate and it isn't long enough yet. Is he wrong if he tells his sister there's no way he's going to get a cut?
As the Original Poster explained, he often grows out his hair so he can cut it and donate it to charity.
As the 24-year-old explained in a post online, he's been growing his curly hair for the past five years. In recent years, he's decided to put his hair to good use and donate it to charity when it gets long enough.
"So I chopped 9 inches off, and began to grow out my hair again," he wrote. "After about 2 years, I made a second donation. I rather enjoy doing this. I get to help people, and indulge my ego at the same time. Win-win."
But now his sister has made a big request. She wants him to cut his hair short for her wedding photos.
He added that usually it can take him up to two years to grow his hair long enough to donate and it's only been about nine months since he last got a cut. "If the wedding fell around that two-year mark, I would have no problem making the cut and donation and satisfying her for the wedding photos," he wrote. But of course, things aren't that simple.
His sister so far won't back down and even got their parents to side with her.
At first, the man wrote that he gently told his sister that he wouldn't cut his hair. But the more he's said no, the more she's insisted. "She seems firm that since its her wedding, it's her call on whether or not I cut my hair," he wrote.
She even roped their mom into the drama and she agreed that her son should change his look. "I don't really want to because I have finally hit a length I can actually do stuff with, and I don't want to lose the nine months of growth I've gotten since my last cut," he wrote.
But he's in the wedding party as a groomsman, so he's torn. " All of her wedding photos with me will have my long hair, and she would prefer it to be short for her eternal memories," he wrote.
Would he be wrong for refusing to cut his hair?
Some people thought his sister was being totally unfair.
Just because it's her big day, it doesn't mean she gets to boss him around they argued.
"Are you allowed to wear it up in a bun or something for the day?" one person asked in the comments. "I'm confused why she's so offended by long hair. Men have been growing long hair forever."
But the writer told them that his hair might not be long enough to pull up. "It maaayyy be long enough to do a bun/tail," he wrote. "Thats been my go-to 'formal' hairstyle before. We just aren't 100 percent sure if it will be long enough by the wedding."
"I think it's ridiculous of your family to expect you to cut nine months of growth off of your hair, which you then donate, for one stupid day," another person wrote. "No one attending that wedding is going to care about your (expletive) hair; your sister and her husband are going to be the stars of the show. Meanwhile, you're going to have to start growing your hair all over again… It's just so stupid. Even if you weren't growing and donating your hair, it would still be a stupid expectation."
And one person said it best: "Just because it's her wedding doesn't mean she can control everyone involved."
But others thought the bride deserves the day of her dreams and her request wasn't that unreasonable.
"As a member of the wedding party it's pretty well understood you will look the part that the bride and groom want you to look," one person wrote. "Bridesmaids don’t get to pick their own dresses and groomsmen usually don’t get to pick their suits. This extends to hair and makeup choices. While you are obviously within your rights to have your hair how you want AS A GUEST, because you are in their wedding party, I don’t think it’s entirely too selfish of her to ask you to cut your hair."
And someone else thought he should do it as a gesture. "It sounds like your sisters being nice," the person commented. "I wouldn't say you have to cut it but if I was you I'd cut it and think of it as a wedding gift to her."
"She is being civil. You are being civil. In your shoes I would cave on this one," another person agreed. "You will cut your hair for random people you don't know, so consider how big a present it will be if you cut your hair for your sister."
Later in the thread, the writer clarified how long his hair actually is right now. "Pulled straight, it's down to my shoulders. Dry and curled, it hangs around my ears and the base of my neck," he wrote. He even included a picture of his current look.
But it seems he's decided to talk it out with his sister. "Neither of us have really tried to put their foot down so far," he wrote. "We have time to find a solution. She's waaayyyy closer geographically to me than our parents are, so there wouldn't be many times the entire family would talk about it."
In the end, he at least understood where she was coming from. "I love her, I understand her, but I disagree with her."
