Hope everybody's all stocked up on toilet paper and canned goods, because here in the US, COVID-19 is upon us, and among preparations to avoid coronavirus spreading more than it already has, many workplaces have instituted temporary work from home policies until it's safe to gather in public again. For some of us, this is a huge cause to celebrate — after all, what's not to love about working at home and not wearing pants? But for others, it's a really stressful time that can cause some serious relationship friction, because it can mean that we're trapped at home, working next to our partners 24/7… and that's just a breeding ground for arguments.
In fact, everyone in China has been working at home for much longer than we have in the US thanks to the coronavirus, and new reports are claiming that divorces are spiking all over the country now that couples have been spending so much time together in such close quarters. That doesn't have to happen to you, though, because you can come prepared!
Read on for tips that will help you and your partner survive this time when we're all stressed out and working at home and trying to figure out how to get everything done. It can be tough — and nobody is going to blame you if you're ready for a nice, solo vacation when all of this is over — but it's also totally manageable to get the work done and keep your relationship intact, if you're willing to try out some of these tricks.
Make a Game Plan
As soon as you've both found out that you're going to be working from home, making a game plan is essential. Establish what you both need (and don't need) from each other while you're working the same house, and agree to respect the boundaries you've set. Having a clearly defined plan from the beginning can help prevent a lot of arguments that could happen along the way, making this whole experience more peaceful from the beginning.
Clearly Define Your Working Hours
This is a good rule for anyone who needs to work at home, but it's especially true if both you and your partner are going to be working and living together at the same time. Working hours need to begin and end at a certain time each day to keep that work-life balance going. It doesn't need to be the same for both of you, but you both need to cut off work at a certain time each day, and be aware of each other's hours.
Work in Separate Areas of the House
It might be fun at first, but eventually, too much togetherness is probably going to become detrimental — not just to work, but to your relationship, too. It's definitely a good idea to establish different areas of the house as your dedicated workspace, whether that means one of you is upstairs and the other is downstairs, or one person works at the kitchen table while the other is on the couch.
Take Separate Breaks
During the workday, we all need a little time to walk away from our computers and recharge, and you need that while you're at home, too — even without your partner being involved. Take 10 or 15 minutes to get up, stretch your legs, change your surroundings, grab a drink, scroll through Twitter, or whatever else you need to do, and make sure you do it by yourself (and at staggered times, ideally).
Try Not To Distract Each Other
When you're working, you're working — that means that during those working hours you and your partner have established, it's best to pretend she's not even home at all. If something's pressing, send your sweetie a text instead of interrupting her while she's busy, and don't ask her for help with something unless it's an emergency. She wouldn't be there to help out at work on a normal day, after all.
Go Outside
It's amazing what a few minutes outdoors will do if you're starting to feel stressed out or if the constant proximity to your partner is starting to be too much, especially if you're living in close quarters. Take one of your planned breaks outside, or even grab your laptop and sit outside if the weather is nice where you are. A little bit of sunshine can totally turn anyone's day around.
Make Plans for After Work
Just as you'd plan to grab dinner together or take a walk after a regular work day, make those plans with your partner now, too. If you're more comfortable staying home in light of the virus, a quick walk around the block, planning to make dinner together, or making popcorn and having a Netflix night together can give you something to look forward to when the work day ends and will help keep that relationship bond strong.
Do the Little Things
Working at home can give your partner the opportunity to drive you crazier than you ever have before, but it can also be an opportunity to get closer in your relationship. Now that you're both home, do the little things to make his workday happier. Leave a sweet note on his keyboard, or bring him coffee the next time you pour yourself a cup. It'll make both of your days a bit brighter.
Don't Take Your Stress Out on Your Partner
No matter how much you love your job (and the idea of working at home) there are going to be stressful moments — it's inevitable. It's important to not take that stress out on your partner, though. Whatever is causing your work stress probably isn't her fault, and taking your frustrations out on her is just going to make the at home working environment that much more tense.
Organize Your Time Well
If you have the freedom of not having clear-cut tasks that need to get done each day, make sure you're organizing the time you spend working well so that you're productive. Get more things done in the morning when you've just had your coffee? Plan to do your most complicated tasks then, and save the easier stuff for later in the day when you're getting closer to quitting time.
Speak Openly About What You Need
Keeping the lines of communication open with your partner while you're both working at home is important — make sure you're letting your partner know what you need (and don't need) in a clear way. Is he interrupting you too much? Let him know right away that you're trying to focus. Is his conference call too loud? Walk away, and if he asks you if he was being too loud, don't be afraid to say yes!
Take a Lunch Break Together
This is another good tip of appreciating the positives of being stuck working at home with your partner. It's not a bad idea to take a lunch break at the same time, hang out and eat at the kitchen, and chat together. Chances are when you're both at work, you don't get to do this, and fitting in some quality time in the middle of the day might make the whole day that much better.
Change Things Up
If you're finding it hard to work at home — or if you're getting too distracted by your spouse working at home — it's OK to change what you're doing and how you're doing things. Go work outside, move to another room in the house, or if it's possible to head to a coffee shop or a park to get stuff done for a couple of hours, do that too. Working at home can easily become exhausting, but changing things up can help.
Use Headphones
For those of us who are more easily distracted or want the illusion of being alone while not actually being alone at home, headphones are absolutely key. Buy a good noise canceling pair if you don't have them already, listen to music or a podcast, and let that isolate you from whatever else might be going on in your house … and it might just deter your partner from chatting with you when she sees the headphones on.
Let Your Partner Work
Without having co-workers around to chat with, it can be really tempting to bother your partner while you're both at home, especially if you feel like venting about something work related. But if he's on the clock, respect that, just as you'd want him to respect your working hours. Instead, text a friend or take a breather … and save that vent for after work when you're both clear headed.
Maintain Relationships With Your Co-Workers
You're all in the same situation, dealing with work individually with the same goal — and for most of us, this time is pretty uncharted territory. If a work Slack channel doesn't already exist, make one so you can chat during the day … or at least get a group text going. It's good to keep that network open in case you have any questions, and it doesn't hurt everyone's morale, either.
Celebrate Each Other's Accomplishments
Did you do something awesome at work today? It's time to celebrate, then! Make sure you're cheering each other on, because it's definitely not happening at work these days. Pop some new wine (hopefully, you stocked up), or take the time to congratulate each other when one of you accomplishes something great. Working at home can be stressful — the big moments still matter.
Make Plenty of To-Do Lists
This is a work at home must, especially if you're list-oriented. At the beginning of each day, make a list of everything that needs to get done before you can clock out. Not only will it help you get a clear look at what your day should look like — and help you decide how you should prioritize your time — but it can also be really satisfying to cross things off as you finish them one at a time.
Remember To Breathe
Right now, it's easy to let yourself get overwhelmed. If you don't typically work at home, that's a new layer of stress, and so is being in such close quarters with your partner 24/7 … not to mention that the news cycle can get a little scary. Recognize when things are becoming a bit too much, and don't forget to take a deep breath and be patient with yourself (and your partner) as best as you can.
Enjoy the Time Together
At some point, everything will go back to normal, and you and your partner will no longer be working at home together. As crazy as the idea of that might sound right now, you'll probably miss her when you're both back at work. So remember to enjoy the gift of extra time, no commute, and not having to wear pants or leave the house. It's fleeting — and it can be a good thing if you let it.
